Mother of the Year NOT!!

Vacationing

2011-08-01T15:18:00.003-04:00

The small terrorists have allowed me to transport them to CT to see their G-ma. They do however keep me under watchful eye- if I go near the door they immediatly question me about where I think I might be going. They are all on constant guard for small infracttions. They have determined that wearing me out keeps me to tired to escape so the game is to ask me dozens of questions and order me around. They eat small amounts at home but gorge themeselves at restaurants, where they force us to pay the bill.
Violet has been sucked into her books this trip and Jay brought his legos but that KT, she is constantly wanting entertainment. I'm going to try to suggest the beach to them, then when they get deep into the water I can escape. I may get free this time.

BTG

2011-07-02T08:48:00.004-04:00

KT is flying off to grandma's tomorrow. She is a tad anxious.
But the truth is, we need a break from eachother and my mother needs a
slow introduction into my household. Grandmother will be staying with me during a
15 week internship I have to do. And all three kids at once for 15 weeks is a bit much even for the most masochistic.
So I figured if I sent her just KT for a few weeks she could get a good idea on how to manage her because she is the most exhausting child for me.
Now if you meet KT you will be immediatly enthralled with her 'big toothy grin' as my mother puts it- we'll just call it BTG.
Now the issue with KT is that she is addicted to attention, good or bad. So you scold her and you still see the BTG. We also know that when the BTG appears that the brain has shut down.
example
Me: "careful don't drop that !!"
KT: BTG...some inane response like 'I won't!!!"
she drops it
KT: "oops" BTG
and that little saga plays itself out all day long from 'don't touch that, to 'don't do that,'
'to stop doing that'. Just change the words, and the same situation.

A girl and her IPAD

2011-06-26T03:06:00.001-04:00

Talk about Oprah Winfrey's favorite things...IPAD has got to be it. OK don't get me wrong IPAD has lots of things to work on. But the idea of it!!
There is an App (application for those of you who have not been blessed with an I something or other) for everything. And when I say blessed, I mean I got mine as a a gift from Grandpa L (and it wasn't an occasion either...bless that Grandpa L). So here's are some of the Apps that I have downloaded:
App for GRE
App for learning Spanish
App for Tarot card readings
App for reading pdf files and editing them
App for the latest research from the American Psychological Society (APA) I just love this one
(I know, I know I am geeking hard!)
App to turn your IPAD into a phone/texting device...however this one costs 10.00 a month and I usually only get Apps that are free so I don't have this, ok occasionally I will pay the .99.
So any way what I was thinking is that they need to create a App called 'Iparent.'
Now here's how it would work: You program in all the things that you constantly say to your children:
"don't touch your sister"
"close your mouth when you chew"
"no shoes in house"
"no running inside"
"watch what you are doing"
"put your stuff away"
etc etc Now you set your IPAD up in the kitchen and the little camera monitors what your little people do....and when they see running or something on the list, a loud alarm comes followed by a recording that says "No running inside!!".
Now just like that famous study Dr. Watson did with little Albert and the rat, the children would condition themselves not to set off 'the alarm'. Yes, yes I know the whole experiment was highly controversial. But I am thinking that Apple could make millions on this before some controversy made them take it off the market. Somebody get me Apple's developers on the phone....

Nail biting saga

2011-06-25T14:20:00.002-04:00

Occasionlly my neighbors tell me interesting stories about my children. The latest is a conversation Mrs. M had with Violet. To paraphrase (and use my poetic license- which I paid .25 cents for at Sears) A discussion about the grossness of nailbiting commenced. Violet's friend Mary Patricia recently broke her habit of nail biting after a visit to the pediatrician. Now Mrs. M's discussions over the years about germs from boys who potty and don't wash their hands was not enough to disuade Mary Patricia from her highly coveted nail tips. However when the pediatrician told Mary Patricia about a true case where a child ingested nails and then perforated her own stomach and had to have surgery and now has a huge ugly scar from it, she ceased all nail biting behavior (even the toe nails). This story was then relayed to Violet, whose response was: " I don't swallow them."
Well now that we cleared that up....do I want to know where she puts the highly covedted nail bitten tips?

Finch Encounter

2011-06-24T20:28:00.003-04:00

If you know me at all, you know that small creatures end up in my house all the time. From baby ducks, cardinals, wrens, turtles, tortoises, to purchased creatures such as geckos, hamster, and a tarantula. Well somehow I ended up with a zebra finch. This bird was not hand raised so it's almost as wild as the cardinals outside. He (McFinley) has been living in my bathroom for the past few months (about 3). Now when I say living in my bathroom, I don't mean in a cage. He has a cage of course, but he fails to use it. He prefers flying around my bathroom, flirting with himself in the mirror, making nests on top of my shower wall, and sitting on his perch in front of the bathroom window so he can watch the wild birds. Luckily I have found effective ways to deal with birdie droppings, not that there is that much. JP says that mcfinley's droppings are smaller than his buggers ( I know you just had a visual-boys are so gross). Anyway the most amazing thing happened today. McFinley landed in my lap so he could eat some good seeds (hunger is an amazing motivator to get over fear). He must have sat there for 5 minutes eating. Then later when he was on his perch I lifted up his food dish and he landed on my HAND and ate two seeds. Taming the untame is a very exciting thing. This did take an amazing amount of time. I think I sat in the bathroom for 2 hours waiting for it to happen. It was worth every minute!!!

Why I have more than one child

2011-06-21T10:23:00.003-04:00

So here's a conversation I had with Violet the other day.
Back story:
KT was at a friends house, and she and Violet had been not getting along anyway.
But apparently arguing with your sibling is a pasttime at Casa de 'R' and when there isn't anyone to argue with, boss around and boss back meloncholy sets in.

Violet: I'm Bored, I wish KT was here to play with.
Me: It's not KT's job to entertain you.
Violet: Yes it is, that's why we got her!!!
Me: ROFL!! (litterally)
Violet: Why are you lauging?
(puzzled look on her face)
Me: ROFLLLLLLL (and she still has no idea why I am laughing) more ROFL
Violet: What is so funny?
Me: (through tears of laughter) ...I couldn't explain it to you so you would understand how funny it is to me. (but I know my friends are going to bust a gut over this!!!!)

I lied

2011-06-20T20:23:00.002-04:00

I lied when I said I was feeling confident about returning to blogging. I was feeling confident but not about blogging. These days are so crazy. And although I can tell people have visited and read, I don't get near enough comments to compel me to write often enough.
So you shy people out there, please write a comment.

Birth of a social Worker

2011-01-04T19:01:00.004-05:00

Well I have been away, it's true. Between school, piano lessons, physical therapy for both girls, car pool, homework (mine and the kids) dinner, cleaning, Facebook, email, research, my new ebook reader and holidays my inner blogger was a miss. But I am starting to feel confident that I could possibly pick it up again.

The latest development in my life was being accepted into the school of social work at some obscure university that I will not mention for fear of retribution after I criticize them for some inane detail such as marking the parking lots with the letter E. E for everyone right ???
Apparently E is not for everyone it's for faculty, faculty starts with an 'F' but you will not get a bunch of academics to agree to have an 'F' on their parking lot when they have spend their entire education, all 20 plus years avoiding that letter. So their alphaphobia (which is a serious OCD condition where certain people are terrified of particular letters) resulted in me getting a parking ticket. OK OK...I made up alphaphobia, but it was almost believable wasn't it. OK OK I didn't get a ticket, I got a warning. It's just as scary, but not quite as expensive.

college

2010-07-02T16:20:00.001-04:00

I have been taking a college course at the local university so I haven't been here in a while. Keep checking though!! I'll be back soon with tales of my tots!!!

newest obsession

2010-04-04T21:40:00.003-04:00

My newest obsession is gardening, much to my husbands chagrin. I just have this thing with if I can plant it I can get FREE organic food. OK not free, there is the soil, the plant, the water, the plant food, the neem oil, the gardening tools, the raised bed itself, the garden storage box for all my goodies and the fact that some of them don't survive. But the sun...it's free, and sometimes the water is free and apparently ALL the labor. I mean why spend 25$ a week on fruit and salad if I can grow it myself ?
It all started with those stupid bunnies. They have to have fresh greens daily. Kale is like .99 a bunch and they go through it in 3 days. But a Kale plant is 3.00 and it just keeps growing and growing. So those foolish bunnies were well fed on organic herbs and kale....herbs are easy to grow and they are prolific!
So anyway I thought 'that KT of mine is a fruit monger', the girl must eat 20$ in fruit every week all by herself. So I ordered a concord grape vine...I figure it will grow enough that I can say, 'your snack is outside, go pick it'. Although with all that free access to fruit we may have some tummy aches in our future.
I also ordered an olive tree, the olives will ripen at the end of the summer to black. All three of my kids love black olives, and most critters don't appreciate them so I won't have to chase Oscar (the local 'coon) away from them. That's a definite plus!!

The Kettle

2010-02-07T11:50:00.004-05:00

In honor of my grandmother, I am using my kettle this week. She actually reads my blog so maybe she'll see this (I love you gram!). I remember the kettle was always hot or about to be hot...the rumbling of the rolling boil of water, the sound of the whistle when it was ready, finally! I was never very patient. The water always made my hot chocolate too hot, and we never did figure out the right timing/milk/water combination to get the perfect temperature hot cocoa. I would always wait, impatiently, for it to cool...staring at the chocolatey concoction having to be patient was a real test of my self discipline, which wasn't very strong and so I always burned my mouth. Sometimes she would distract me with a game of rummy, thank goodness for cards. I remember playing 'Mary and May' I was always Mary, gram was always May. We pretended to be servers in a restaurants with difficult customers. This was probably good practice in dealing with my grandfather!!!

Evelyn Irene Vezina
1918-2010

deciphering the code

2009-12-24T12:53:00.003-05:00

Presents have been purchased and wrapped for a few days. With three kids we can't keep them all in our room, nor can we trust them under the tree. So JP had this great idea of putting them in code. The gifts are addressed to Alpha, Beta and Charlie. The children are desperately trying to figure out the code, especially Violet. She somehow thinks she has cracked a small portion- she says Charlie must be KT because the last part of the word is 'lie' and KT lies a lot. It's so funny to hear them strain their brains, to figure out what the parents are up to. Ahhh....that is the way it should be.

Piano hiding in my garage

2009-12-20T19:54:00.002-05:00

I am not sure how else one hides a christmas piano except for in the garage. It's been there for a few weeks with a painting tarp over it. Violet finally inquired as to what "that large item was against the wall, in front of the freezer, where her dad parks" and I told her it was a tread mill for her dad for xmas. I figured that a tread mill still in a box and a box on it's side could be disguised as a piano, so why not. Don't uncover it, I don't want Daddy to find out what it is. Not so sure how to handle "mom, where's the treadmill for dad" but I'm thinking of "oh honey, it didn't work very well so I returned it".

college?

2009-12-13T21:50:00.004-05:00

So how does one go to college to get an advanced degree while being the main care giver of three not so small people? I do not know. But I would really like to find out. Millions of women do it everyday, so I know that it is possible. It just might be a lot of sacrifice and hard work. I'm not real big on the hard work thing, that whole burning the candle at both ends is not my strong suit. Sacrifice....well as long as it's not sleep I think I can manage. Just imagine how interesting my blog will be if I can share some really crazy stories from school....

The Girl effect

2009-12-03T19:21:00.000-05:00

http://www.girleffect.org/

Sarcasm....

2009-11-23T19:54:00.003-05:00

I think, due to recent events, that I have temporarily lost my snarky edge. Dr. Phil says sarcasm is the lowest form of humor....but I think that he might actually be wrong about this.
So here's the debate: If sarcasm is used to make someone feel bad, or has said affect on a person then it is low.
but if sarcasm is used to poke fun at self and life, and media, and politics, and your children, then why is it low??? Somebody tell me.

MY three stooges

2009-10-29T17:57:00.004-04:00

I had this bright idea how it would be so fulfilling to read under the stars with the fire going. Camping in your back yard. My small people brought blankets and pillows and then they started to read their little books. It was all so touching for about 5 minutes, then it turned into utter chaos.

sewing machine

2009-10-24T22:25:00.006-04:00

Today I whipped out my Singer. Whipped is an exaggeration because actually it was quite an event to pull it out of it's tight space and then get it to open. I haven't sewn anything in over a year, not because I don't like to sew but because it was inconvenient to get at and I still haven't hung any pictures on my walls of the house I have lived in for over a year so when would I have time to sew.
The point of what I am saying is I know how to operate a sewing machine and to sew by hand. And when my daughter Violet asked where did I learned how to operate a sewing machine I told her about Mrs "D" and Home Ec class in 8th grade. I fondly remembered the sewing room and my classmates Liz and Julie. I remembered making stuffed animals and chit chat. Then I remembered I am sending her to a school for the " Arts " they don't have Home Ec. Then it hit me No one is going to teach my child to sew!!
I really don't understand why not either, I consider sewing an art. But apparently the Creation Foundation (founders of my girls school) do not. That means I have to teach them to sew. Can you see me teaching KT how to sew? Let me draw you a picture for those of you haven't had the pleasure. KT is my ADHD kid, she can't go upstairs without hurting herself, she can't get through a meal without spilling her drink, she can't sit still or sit straight, and I am going to give her a needle ? Sure, if I want her to poke her eye out!!

I think not!! I will be paying those fine folks at JoAnn fabrics to teach her to sew, and believe me they will earn every penny!!!

Halloween REALLY!!

2009-10-07T07:18:00.005-04:00

Halloween is my favorite all time holiday!!! And I am very defensive of it's reputation.

I love all of my very Christian friends. However my antiHalloween friends need a little history lesson.

Over time certain interpretations have become inaccurate. Halloween, which I believe, is the most misunderstood holiday of all time needs a little fact fixing. Yes Halloween was a pagan holiday (love to all my Pagan friends) it dates back to ancient celts. The idea was to celebrate the end of the harvest season. The scary costumes were to scare away the bad spirits so the next harvest would be healthy. All that scariness was to ward off evil. Sort of like Christian metals, and crosses, and holy water. I realize this is not exactly the Christian purpose of wearing a cross, or using holy water, or having a St. whoever metal but it's similar. It makes christians feel safe and closer to god. Pagans chose the other route, to scare off evil to be closer to god, to have healthy crops, to have a prosperous year. Because this was the end of the crop season the grasses and hay were becoming short in supply, this lead to moving livestock and slaughtering some farm animals and salting them to eat a later date, and to have at their big celebration meal. These were not 'animal sacrifice' or gifts to gods, but a necessity to avoid starvation of farm animals. The holiday Samhain, was a little like Thanksgiving. It was a big feast, a family gathering, a bonfire, a start of the new year etc. It was also a day believed to be where the spirit world and our world came very close to one another. Some left soul cakes to help our ancestors on their journey. There is nothing satanic about Halloween. In the Celtic world there wasn't a satan or a devil. Only mischievious spirits that some called evil.

Snoring in Music class

2009-10-03T09:33:00.002-04:00

My girls are taking singing classes at Music Matters. They are learning to read music and use their voice to hit notes. The teacher thought it would be a great idea to record their voices on tapes and then let them take the tapes home so they could listen to themselves. Except who actually owns a tape player? Well, not me. So I decided to purchase the archaic technology and the problem there is I am too cheap to spend 25.00 on technology that has such few uses. Instead I decide to use our mini digital recorder and send it to class with them. Digital recorders are small and very useful. For instance your child can read a story and then listen to themselves and see how they sound. They can verify if the story sounds right, meaning they said the right word and didn't just pick a word that looked right, and they can check their own pronunciation of sounds. Another use is proving to your spouse that he sounds like Chewbaca when he sleeps. In fact that was the first thing I used it for.
On Wednesday miss KT took the digial recorder to her lesson. After a brief lesson with the recorder we thought she could operate it. After KT sang her heart out her music teacher hit the play button and what they hear ? Chewbaca!!!

Dorm fees?

2009-09-29T01:57:00.004-04:00

Isn't it funny how a benign conversation about one thing can lead to another and then we have a problem? So Violet and I are having this conversation about money and it starts like this:
"Mom, can I take money out of my savings for my Halloween costume"
"No, that's dead money, it's for educational purposes..." I go on to tell her about the uses for that money. One of my examples was dorm fees. which lead to
"what's a dorm?" Which lead to me talking about my dorm and the fees which I think were like 800.00 a month or something. That's when it struck her, "What ? How am I going to save enough money for that? How much is 800 x 12? How am I going to pay for my cell phone bill and my computer?" And then tears came. She was so stressed out...and she's 9!!
I went on to tell her that she could live at home while she goes to the community college so she would have only two years of fees. She says she wants to go to PHCC for 4 years. So I explain that right now PHCC is only a 2 year college. Her last comment is that she hopes that in few years it will be a 4 year college. Then she closed her eyes and crossed her fingers and mumbled something. I think she was praying (her first prayer) to have the local community college be a four year college. Not that I think that's a bad prayer, it's just not what you expect from your 9 year old.

long time

2009-09-25T12:46:00.003-04:00

I know I know it's been a long time. But my mommy is here and we have been visiting and so I have not been blogging. Real soon though, I will get back to blogging about the zoo.

The science experiment

2009-08-26T18:52:00.004-04:00

Violet will be 9. Some days I feel like she is going on 29. She can really be an odd duck. For instance my little biologist wanted bugs for her birthday. What kind of kid wants bugs for her birthday? Mine of course. And not cute little butterflies either, no she wanted millipedes. Millipedes. I might as well open up a lab in my house. Hope I can get a discount on that mass spec. I think they are like 100 K. Maybe she can start small with a stereo microscope and some pH strips. I think I saw a soil testing kit at Lowes. It's really tough living with these little scientists, you really have to think out of the box. Last night we dissected a sunflower. It all started when I established a bird feeding station in my yard. Through birdie taste tests we determined that our birds (cardinals, chickadees and tufted titmouse) like the black oil sunflower seeds the best. So then came the question, 'where do sunflower seeds come from?' "From sunflowers" I said. She said, "I know but where are the seeds in the sunflower." I tried to explain but she just had more questions so we decided to plant the birdseed so I could demonstrate. I told my honey the next day about the conversation, but he had never plucked sunflower seeds out of a sunflower and didn't know what I was talking about. Fast forward a few months when the seeds finally flowered, it was sort of a thrill for him to see how it worked too. I guess not everyone has these experiences. I guess not everyone does science exploration. I figure Violet is a walking science experiment. She'll probably make me go broke in the process of filling up that noggin of hers (millipedes are 39.00 at Carolina Biological-which is where we order all her 'specimens' ie meal worms, crickets, darkling beetle, painted lady butterflies, and lady bugs). But still, I can't wait to see what she does for this world!

Back to school!!

2009-08-20T20:39:00.002-04:00

It's coming!! Just hang in there. All will be right with the world when the small people get back on their yellow busses and disappear into the morning. Not a single peep until the return at the end of the day, piled high with papers and books and stains on their clothes. Ode to minivan meetup where excited munchkins pile into your car with their backpacks and complaints about lunches, mean kids, and teachers who play favorites.
How I will miss sleeping in. How I will miss my two hour coffee break on the swing outside my house.
It's back to the grind: cold cereal, packing lunches, a.m car loop, bus, pm car loop, homework, play, shower, dinner, clean up, bed.

Sleep fast wee ones, for we will do this all over again tomorrow.

The need to be right.

2009-08-12T19:12:00.004-04:00

I admit it. I have an insatiable need to be right. Uggg. It's so annoying.
My son is in the process of being assessed for Aspergers. Everyone at school (the ESE teachers, the school psychologist, and the principal, the speech teacher, and the OT) tells me I am wrong and he is not an Asperger kid. I am now taking him to a specialist to be diagnosed. The new therapist, after a few sessions, tells me that it's not really necessary to have a diagnosis as it will not change anything for him educationally. He is right. But I don't care. I want to march into the school and hold a paper in my hand and say "SEE!!! I was right. He does have Aspergers, and I am a better diagnostician then all of you!!!!" I don't know why I have that need. It's annoying to my friends and family. I wish I didn't have it, it's those darn emotional receptors in my brain, they crave it, it's not my fault I am a victim of my own neurological makeup.

Proactive Parenting

2009-08-06T15:08:00.003-04:00

I just taught a class on Proactive Parenting, so I am all wound up. I have these fabulous families who want to adopt children. Except there vision of children and the DCF version of children that actually exist, are very different. So each week little by little I leak information about our kids and see if they run screaming from the room. So far no one has. Which could mean a few things: they are not getting it, they don't believe me, or are too dumb to know what is good for them. I am kidding of course. One couple is very scared now, this is a sign of intelligence in the DCF world. See, if you are scared sh#*less and you keep coming anyway then I know I am doing my job.
Here's a little of how I explain it in class.
The definition of Proactive parenting is planning how you will handle behaviors and it is the opposite of reactive parenting.
Proactive parenting is not to be confused with plotting against your children.
Now I tell my families this, and they all look at me like I have a screw loose. This is because they haven't met our kids yet. In a year, I will say the same things and they will laugh hysterically because they will remember nights where they stayed up late plotting a really great punishment for some sort of misbehavior. Here are few different scenarios of different parenting styles:
scenario 1 proactive parenting:
You have little Johnny at home and he loves to jump on the bed. So you tell little johnny that jumping on the bed is not allowed. The consequence of jumping on the bed will be that he won't get to enjoy dessert with the family this evening, and that would make you very sad.
scenario 2 reactive parenting:
Little johnny goes upstairs and jumps on the bed, you take away his mattress and all of his blankets and stuffed animals and he sleeps on the floor.
scenario 3 plotting:
You go to home depot and get plastic runners for carpets cut to the size of the bed, then you purchase a large 3x5 sheet of wood. You go home, put the piece of wood on the bed with the carpet runner upside down (so all the little plastic spikes stick up) and then you cover the bed with a thin sheet and tuck it all in and make it nice and neat. You pick up Johnny from school and you remind him that he is not allowed to jump on the bed.

Now in scenario one, Johnny jumps on the bed and then has a tantrum all through dessert because he didn't get any. which ruins your evening and makes you angry.
In scenario two johnny pitches a fit at bedtime and keeps you up for hours, which makes your crabby and angry the next day.
In scenario three, johnny yells 'ouch' and 'what the F#$%' as you run into your bedroom cackling to your spouse about how funny it was. You feel revitalized and Johnny is now suspicious.
Now the few of you who read my blog and have difficult children will identify with the plotting. We do it for therapeutic purposes. We don't always carry it out, but just find enjoyment and stress relief in designing it.

Real packrats can't hold a candle to my Violet.

2009-08-03T20:13:00.004-04:00

I am from a family of pack rats and hoarders. Although I like to consider my self the least packing of all rats, my husband still accuses me of hoarding. I know it's in the DNA because I saw it with my own to eyes. The other day we were rearranging Violet's room. We had bought her a new mattress for her bed as she was sleeping on the smaller trundle mattress. As I started clearing off her bed I found a plethora of non-sleeping items: CD player, open Cd's and cases, gum wrappers, 4 books, assorted stuffed animals and dolls, extra pajamas, a shirt, plastic toys, and some art work. Which seems like a lot but maybe she just doesn't like to put stuff away. Then I started to pull up her mattress, and I could see right through to the floor: loads of socks, sheets and toys trapped under the trundle. Needless to say we spent the day emptying her room, then rearranging and now we are still putting things away. You never knew this kid could hide so much crap in that little tiny room. She keeps everything: favors left over from birthday parties, stories she wrote in Kindergarten, McDonald's toys, gumball machine toy coverings(without the toy) assorted rocks, plastic animals, American girl catalogs, magazines, 200 glue on gems, 10 bouncy balls, 3 candles, lotions, and 5 lip glosses. Which most of this would have been fine if it was organized but no, it was just all thrown in her closet in boxes and plastic containers. Every container I opened had another 'treasure'. She also can't bare to part with anything! The waterworks turn on at the mere mention of tossing. I tried to pry some PJ's out of her little paws, they were size 6 she wears a 10 in PJ's, but she fell apart because they were Tinkerbell!! And you don't want to say, don't worry I'll buy you some more. It's just simply better when I send her off to camp and then empty out her drawers. Hoarders need our help to free them of their things. Mom, watch out you are next!

The Georgia Aquarium

2009-07-20T04:38:00.000-04:00

Pics from the GA aquarium

Mystic Aquarium

I was one of the lucky few who grew up with an aquarium a couple of miles from my home http://www.mysticaquarium.org/ .

My mom became a 'charter member' the day it opened, I think I was 6, and we haven't stopped going. In my highschool years I actually volunteered there and got to put my mitts on some of the beautiful animals. Aurora, a charasmatic beluga whale, was my favorite. She liked her gums rubbed.

So during out visit to GA we had to go to the aquarium!! http://www.georgiaaquarium.org/

It's a really neat place and I highly recommend it.

all creatures great and small

2009-07-12T17:12:00.004-04:00

There are always creatures spending a few nights in our home while Violet studies them. Tonight we have some sort of grasshopper. It's huge!! We have all the 'creature' comforts for grasshoppers: water gel, dead vegetation, powereded cricket food, meal worms, a large piece of mulch to hide under. Other creatures that have spent the night include: a skink, a squirrel, a baby cardinal, a baby wren, a large turtle and assorted lizards, toads , fish and tree frogs. I am not sure why she is drawn to creatures. It may have be something to do with her cribset which was 'cutie bugs' from Target. There is some sort of correlation you know!!! So all of you expecting parents out there, select your cribset with care. If you don't want Johnny to grow up to be a pilot don't use cute little airplanes. Other cribsets that could be of concern: fish, fire engines, and princess..
Here's the message they could get.
Fish: Fishing is more important than anything else
Fire enginess: Not good for parents with anxiety
Princess: The world must be at my beck and call
Peter Pan: I will never grow up
Noah's Ark: You need to collect two of everything
African Animals: It has to be BIG to be important
Tinker Bell: I am waiting for the pixie dust to kick in and fix everything

The list goes on, be sure and comment if you have one that you are concerned about.

Bunnage

2009-07-09T07:39:00.005-04:00

My bunny girl is getting spayed today. I am a nervous nellie: what if something goes wrong, what if they hurt her, what if they aren't nice to her, what if she thinks I abandoned her, what if she thinks I let these people hurt her???

Penelope has been getting a little aggressive with the kids lately:Chasing, climbing on them, circling and nipping. She actually drew blood on Violet when Violet was messing with her cage (cleaning it really) but to Penelope it was more like rearranging her furniture without permission. It ticked her off. And she can't say anything about it so she uses her teeth...sort of like a toddler. I am pretty sure she is in heat, I mean she's a rabbit, aren't they pretty much always in heat? I pick her up at 3:00. I hope she isn't too uncomfortable. I am such a bunny mama!!!

Update: Bunny baby is back. She hasn't moved at all...even her nose is still. I had pet her to make sure she was ok. Anyway the Vet was great, he's a bunny lover. Thanks Doctor Hughes!!

Here's his info:

Hughes, James E DVM - All Creatures Animal Clinic
(727) 785-0405
3438 E Lake Rd, #11, Palm Harbor, FL 34685

I will never take my bunny to another VET EVER!

Sponge bob Casserole

2009-07-07T07:28:00.002-04:00

My children are separatists. They do not like their veggies mixed with anything, in fact they really don't like their food touching. I often have to disguise my casseroles as some famous dish. Take for instance Sponge bob casserole, named so my children would eat it, and possibly like it.
It has shredded zucchini, summer squash, and onion cooked mixed with shredded cheese and white rice then melted in the oven. The more summer squash and yellow cheese the more like Sponge bob it looks, the more zucchini the more like seaweed it looks. So anyway I serve this and Jay my 10 year old says, "wait is Sponge bob really in here?" And all I can think is, here we go again. "Yes Jay, I snatched Sponge bob out of the TV tossed him in my food processor and then cooked him up to make a tasty dish. "

History museum...more learning for mom.

2009-07-04T08:56:00.009-04:00

Kids say the dardest things!!

2009-07-01T18:15:00.004-04:00

KT has not been feeling well so I took her to her pediatrician. They wanted to do a blood test and titer for Mono. Which I don't believe she has but anyway it was her first blood draw. Now, they announce that they are going to do a blood draw and then they leave the room, so my little one can work herself up into a frenzy. Armed with only a ladies magazine I put my distraction tactics into high gear!! "Look at this garden KT, look at the picture, what would you like to plant?" This goes on and on while we discuss different foods she would like to grow, while Countess Dracula is probably in the other room snickering at how long she is going to drag this process out. Finally KT says "chicken" and I tell her "no we can't have farm animals in our yard." To which she says "no not animals, chicken". I must have a perplexed look on my face, "KT we aren't allowed to have chickens." Now beyond frustrated with me she replies, "NO NOT chickens, I want to grow chicken and steak!!" Right now I can't believe what I am hearing so I ask, "you mean like drumsticks growing on a tree?" She shakes her head vehemently in the 'yes' direction. You are kidding me right? "You know where chicken and steak come from....they come from animals like chickens and cows." To which she only replies, "oh". Now I am exasperated and totally convinced that her fever temporarily (hopefully) fried her brain and she was just momentarily delusional.

The walk of shame for adoptive moms.

2009-06-30T20:11:00.004-04:00

Every now and then I have to take my children to the dentist. Two thirds of my monster team have had extensive dental work in their early years. I am talking caps, fillings, extractions they have more silver in their mouths then a Florida souvenir shop. Jay had all of his front teeth removed when he was three and a half. Due to different insurances Jay and KT see the same dentist while Violet goes to the same dentist as JP and I do. So Jay and KT's dentist does not know me from Adam (whatever that means). So Jay is nervous about having a filling the other day and I'm asking him haven't you ever had a tooth filled before and he says, "I don't know." Well me either so when we get to the dentist and I tell the receptionist that he's nervous and he doesn't know if he ever had a tooth filled before, could you check? To which she looks up at me quite puzzled, and says she will check and get back to me. Well in the meantime I go in with KT because this is our second visit about tooth pain. The Dr. looks in her mouth (a different dr then she had last week) and I can see her eyebrows raise. I know what she is thinking, and I want to scream,

I didn't birth these kids, I didn't send them to bed with bottles of milk, I
didn't neglect their teeth, it wasn't me, really teeth are important to me, I
brushed Violet's teeth with a infant gum scrubber everynight since the day she was born, I am not a terrible mother, they are adopted, their birth mother did it, Jay had bottle rot from her putting him to bed with a bottle because she was lazy, she made him have to have his four front teeth pulled, I just recued them, they came like this!!!!

But I resist the urge. It doesn't really matter what she thinks does it? I am being so rediculous. I will not give into this urge... today.

Summer of Learning

2009-06-29T10:00:00.000-04:00

Dragonflies

Below are some dragonflies mating, Violet impressed upon me how important it was to capture this image and share it with the world, 'in case they hadn't seen this before'.

My children probably hate the fact that everything has to do with learning. But when some of them are starting out 8 years behind I feel like we have so much catching up to do. Part of our learning tour in GA was visiting the Fernbank Science Center. Which in case you were wondering is FREE.

http://www.fernbank.edu/

Fernbank Science Center is chock full of educational things like a planetarium, composting, vegetable gardens, butterfly gardens, bee keeping, acres of natural GA that you can explore.

Fernbank also shares property with Fernbank Elementary school. One of the best public schools in Atlanta according to Jay's speech teacher who used to work there.

Learning about Atlanta

While Atlanta is a racially diverse city I was disturbed by how racially divided it is. At each location we visited we saw camp groups full of happy little children bouncing around. Those camp groups were completely segregated. Campers were either all caucasian or all African American. Not being from Atlanta I imagine this has to do with where you live in Atlanta and which camp you choose. However being a mom of bi-racial children I was acutely aware of the divide and the perceived inadequacies. I also did not see many bi-racial children, which also intrigued me. In a city that is diverse, isn't it natural that you should see more?

Cleopatra being patient

2009-06-27T15:53:00.003-04:00

Cleo is a pretty patient cat. She puts up with a lot from her subjects. However I find this little video a real test of her self control.

Now seriously, how many would put of with their meal sharing a bed with them?

Newest Addition to the family

2009-06-23T12:12:00.007-04:00

We have another 4 legged creature that has joined our family. It's still a baby and the verdict is still out on names but it is a boy. JP is voting for ' Zoom' because the little bugger can run fast!!! It's actually hard to get a pic because he doesn't hold still.

He's been a great help at thinning out my garden though. He eats more than Penelope. He likes the marigold, the basil and the thyme. She won't eat any of that.

So this Lagomorph belongs to KT. It's her first pet. He lives in her room and she takes care of him. She earned him with her good grades and taking good care of Penelope.

Look at him covering his little face. What is he thinking? "Oh I just can't bear it"

You just have to see him wash up. It is the cutest thing ever. Of course every flipping thing a bunny does is cute!! If you think of a great name for a little gray bunny post a comment.

Gifted results.

2009-06-19T09:27:00.002-04:00

Yesterday was D-day. Violet had her knock down drag out with the petite, young, blonde school psychologist. Violet was actually a little nervous, which surprised me. I gave her the Omega 3 fatty acids that morning, told her it was good for her brain. I heard the usual complaints about fishy burps and how terrible they are but she sent them down the hatch anyway. The smarty pants test consistsed of verbal, odd picture out, and missing item from the picture. She scored the highest on the verbal...shocking isn't it. And the lowest on the missing item, which doesn't surprise me because she is terrible with deciphering drawings. Must be all that fine art she is exposed to, give her a pencil drawing and she is clueless. Anyway I didn't use the word 'gifted' with her, all children are gifted. I explained that this was so she didn't have to waste her time with tedious and repetive seat work. The surprising thing was that she actually got the score she needed to...on the money. My little Violet is now labeled for life. I can't believe it!! Not that I didn't know that she was smart, I just didn't believe that she could be defined by the scholastic definition of gifted...I thought she was more off beat. So we had baskin robbins for lunch to reward her for agreeing to take the test in the first place. Sometimes Violet is not that agreeable....shocking isn't it.

First FAMILY Vacation

2009-06-14T13:13:00.010-04:00

So we took the plunge and went on a vacation with the whole family. My children are 8,9 and 10 but we have only been together as a family for two years. Before some behaviors were too difficult to deal with on the road. But my kids have come so far that I thought they were ready, and I was right. Thank goodness. We had a short trip to Atlanta, in case it didn't work out I didn't want to be stuck too long. I also didn't want to give them enough time to self destruct.

I learned something about my kids, 2/3 can't climb trees. So we will be having some trips to the playground and the forest for climbing as soon as it gets cool.

Some Bunny moments

2009-06-05T07:41:00.001-04:00

Now Penelope is cute, but not half as cute as the three silly kids talking in the background.

So if you can concentrate on the bunnage. She is having a good time doing an impersonation of a toddler: pick something off the ground and put it in your mouth, go inside, then back outside, run up to people then runaway...ok well maybe that sounds more like a puppy, and she does have the ears right.

Penelope is very therapeutic for my kids. She actually likes the kids, unlike Cleopatra who is very hesitant to get involved with small people with moving feet.

Ps I have to thank my friend Steph for the idea of putting this on you tube because I could NOT get this video to load on blogger. She is such a little smarty pants.

So, we do influence our children.

2009-06-04T03:08:00.005-04:00

Some days I am just sure my children have never listened to a thing I have said or been influenced by me at all. I guess I think I don't have that much of an impact. Dr. Phil is always going on about how kids are influenced by their parents...and I think oh sure, they are influenced by their friends and TV. Well I was sitting watching Oprah, and Violet has been attached to me like a flea on a warm dog, probably because she is home sick. Anyway, Nate is on Oprah decorating houses and Violet sees this piece of furniture and she went nuts!! She wants it in her bedroom. Now, for those of you who have been to my house you will know exactly what I am talking about!!! And for the rest of you, I have a huge library in my living room. Books are arranged by catagory: science, art, history etc.

Well, dear daughter has found her love of books and she does not want to share her books by putting them in the library. OH NO she wants her own personal library in her room....Grandpa Larry can you build one of these?

Here's the linkhttp://shop.arhaus.com/carty/?r=0&c=Athens%20Collection&w=STORAGE_COLLECTIONS

Rabbit Babbit

2009-06-01T16:58:00.003-04:00

Here's my little gal. This one is sooooo unbelievably spoiled. See you can spoil a rabbit and they will not ruin your life when they become teenagers. Children on the other hand, the more you spoil them the less anyone wants to be around them. So BONAGE as we sometimes refer to her is loving summer green grass and clovers and the neighbors front planter for which she mistakes for her personal jungle.

Imagine having someone in your front yard with a broom digging up your front plants...oh uh that's just me trying to get my bun to come home. so sorry go back to eating your dinner

Birthday girl

2009-06-01T16:51:00.002-04:00

Doesn't she look harmless? If you only knew!!!

Anyway here's that birthday girl...ok ok her birthday was in April, but I just got the images off my digital camera yesterday.

Anyway as you can tell it was a pool party, and I would like to show you the other kids that were there but some of them are in foster care so I can't.

God made this little one cute, so you could forgive her when she got all over your last blessed nerve.

update

2009-05-29T18:32:00.002-04:00

Well Violet passed the ISS, which is an acronym for in school staffing, which is the school word for ' meeting that parents are not invited to'. Anyway the teachers sit around discussing the strengths of the children and if they need to move on to be tested for gifted. Apparently they went to bat for Violet and the school psychologist agreed...without ever meeting Violet. Only in Pasco I tell ya!!!
We have a renter!!! Woohoo. They will move in on June 1. Oh and they actually have a deposit, passed a credit and background check. I could just pinch myself!!!
My rental house is bigger than their old one so they are tickeled pink, and they are going to squeeze 4 kids into that house. He's a geography teacher (obviously not a geometry teacher) at the highschool, lets hope Pasco doesn't decide to remove geography from the curriculum, then we really would be lost.
KT and Violet were both selected for the chorus for Annie. However Violet says the chorus is stupid and wants her own part. brat!!! Of course she didn't have much sleep that day so that could have contributed to her 'tude.
We have a wedding to go to, I bought Jay a whole outfit because he was the only one of my monsters that had absolutely nothing to wear!!! Girls seem to always have something but boys never do. So anyway, he looks so cute with his sage green shirt and tie (he really wanted pink), gray slacks and black loafers. I'll have to send birthmom a pic, she will be so amazed how cute he looks!!!! After the wedding I will post some pics.

smart but blind

2009-05-16T11:47:00.003-04:00

Well the little smarty pants, Violet, passed the first round of 'gifted' tests. I was very surprised. I mean I know she is above average but I didn't thing she was gifted. Isn't that terrible? I mean we should all think that our children are gifted, and I do think she is in other ways but not in the standardized test kind of way. However, when the principal called she said the little smarty pants is blind as a bat in her left eye and they can't test her any further until I get her to a dr. I wonder how much she could be learning if she could actually see what was going on around her? And then I think, do I really want to live with a child that would be that much smarter? And then I think, no I really don't think I want to. Let her get smarter later....like after she moves out. See there again is why I will never be mother of the year!

First mom

2009-05-05T07:03:00.003-04:00

I received a letter from my childrens bio mom, via my relative/attorney. It's not that unusual. I had reached out to her when we first finalized the adoption, and gave her an address for correspondence. She was incarcerated at the time and posed little threat. I also wanted to provide hope, so that she would work hard at her rehab and not give up. I figure that when my daughter turns 18 first mom will become part of our lives.
She now lives in another state and is struggling to get her life together. She is aware of the trauma she caused and I believe genuinly sorry. She is very sorry that she ever got mixed up in drugs. She misses the children a lot, but she knows they are better off with me.
She would like to send birthday cards to the children, but she doesn't know if that will cause more trauma. I don't either. But I commend her for asking and taking that into consideration.
I actually feel lucky that she is operating at that level. I know many adoptive moms/ step moms who have to deal with horrid birth moms. I don't think we will do the birthday card, but I think I will allow a holiday card in December.

To speak or not to speak ? that is the question.

2009-04-28T16:32:00.003-04:00

We are coming to a cross road with KT. She is almost ready to graduate from speech. Now KT has an auditory processing disorder and well as problems with 's' , 'sh', 'ch' and 'j'. She sort of slurrs all of these together and squeezes air out the the sides of her mouth when she says them. She only does this in conversation, not when reading or repeating a word. If she does it in conversation she can quickly fix herself when reminded. What I can't decide is if we should discharge her for the summer and be done or keep torturing her a little longer ? If we discharge her chances are she will not qualify for speech later. However we could work on something else this summer in place of speech, that may be more beneficial.

My Florida Weeds

2009-04-27T12:38:00.004-04:00

If you spend much time in a draught area, you will learn that your lawn sucks. Or at least it should if you are following the watering guidelines.
Here's a description of what your lawn will look like: dollar weeds, crabgrass, St. Augustine, more weeds, brown patches and bare patches. Now when I look at my lawn the very green part is actually a weed. The weeds grow very well. They are green and lush. So why am I trying to grow grass that will barely grow and is brown when I could have a whole lawn of weeds that would be green and wonderful ? Well I am not sure exactly, there really is no reason. So I decided to buy a bunch of weed seeds and plant them. I looked closely at my lawn one day and saw that the shamrock shaped weed was the lushest and the greenest. So I found out what it was: Oxalis or Clover. Dutch clover grows in any soil and needs very little water once it starts growning. It is weed resistant and it enriches your soil. So I bought myself about 10 lbs of Dutch clover seeds and I am going to plant them in all of my bare patches. You need about a pound for 300 sq feet so I can do lots of bare patches (I'll even let you guys have some if you want to try it). Best of all it the dutch clover has little white flowers that the bees love, so I am helping the bee poputlation.

Is she gifted?

2009-04-22T20:59:00.002-04:00

Well the latest is they want to test Violet for being gifted. Now, don't get me wrong the little bugger is smart, above average even. But gifted is defined as 130 IQ and above. I'm not so sure that she is there. But I am pleased that her teacher thinks so, this is the same teacher that tried to get me to hold KT back last year.
What I like about Violet is that she is interesting and wise. She is well rounded, a little emotional and a tree hugger. I couldn't ask for anything more.

GRE vocab for the week

2009-04-19T21:46:00.003-04:00

Can I just tell you, the GRE is designed to torment it's users. They take the most obscure words and use the rarest definition and then put it into a sentence to see if you can figure out what it means. This test is a lesson in stamina. How long can you sit still and be analytical and focused?
My friends with the ADD, this could make you lose your mind.
It has nothing to do with what you know, although if you know a lot it helps.

So here are my words of the week...just wait algebra review is next week.
abjure, baleful, baneful, wend, welter, and wag.

comment with some sentences...if you can (that is a challenge by the way).
Remember to use the most abstruse definition.

Reptile Convention ???

2009-04-17T20:32:00.003-04:00

The last time my spouse took my daughter to a reptile convention he came back with a 75.00 gecko and a tarantula. Well he is going again. And he is going with another guy who also likes the reptiles. I am sending three children to chaperone. But that is sort of like sending cheerleaders to a football game to keep an eye on the players. I am thinking that we will have a new member of the family when he gets back. Pray my zoo does not get any larger this weekend!

Update: No new family members showed up at my house. However, my friend wasn't so lucky.
She ended up with 2 bearded dragons. One of them is with babies. And apparently they can have up to 50!!! babies in one clutch. Can you imagine? 50 bearded dragons!!

Insomnia

2009-04-16T22:03:00.002-04:00

I have an eight year old with insomnia. We've tried everything I can think of:

warm showers

hot herbal tea

calms forte

reading

fan

open window

me saying 'go to bed'

holding her gecko

rubbing the kitty

night light on

night light off
melatonin
story on CD
music on CD
Anyone got any better ideas before I konk her over the head?

Birthday Girl!!

2009-04-14T16:13:00.003-04:00

It's that time of year...to spend a little time appreciating the personality of my middle child.

Now KT is not your average middle child. She wants to be at the center of attention at all times.

She assaults your senses at every junction. But I do have a few accolades for her:

KT is always happy. She is always smiling...even when she is getting into trouble.

She is always laughing, she is always talking. She is my jovial, loquacious little sprout.

She is the one to initiate the games at home with the kids and keep them busy.

She is always amusing, you just have to find the amusement in the action. For instance:

KT cannot get through an entire day without spilling something. This morning it was the green bean container in the fridge. You just have to laugh, because it's so predictable.

She doesn't walk slowly, she always runs. Of course you remember, she can't go up the stairs without saying "OW!"

She doesn't think in a linear fashion. Everything is sporadic and all over the place. She doesn't have a bit of common sense. And she can't remember how to do anything (like wet her hair and comb out the tangles in the morning). But she can remember where things are located and the series of events that lead up to something, even if she really can't tell you in a linear fashion how something happened.

KT is all about people. She loves to see cars of people she knows, and then announce who the owner of the vehicle is. She doesn't care whether she is right or not, just the simple idea that it could be a person she knows delights her. She also loves to run into people in different places than where you normally see them, like seeing a teacher at Walmart. This would excite her for weeks.
When you talk about going to the pool or getting ice cream. KT is excited about who might be there to see her, not about swimming in the water or what flavor of ice cream she is going to order.

KT never imitates a couch potato. She doesn't lie around watching TV. In fact I don't think she actually can hold still. She doesn't day dream out a window. She is always moving. She is always watching people.

KT likes to learn. She likes to do school work...she does work books for fun. She can be fascinating. And today she turned 9.

Lexicon of the little lass.

2009-04-13T16:00:00.004-04:00

Violet has a toothache. She can't just say she has a toothache.
Instead she says, "My canine didn't hurt this much last time."
To which I reply," can't you just say tooth like normal children?"
To which she replies,"I'm not normal."

Well she might be right about that. The Easter card that she made at home said,
"Mother and Father, Have a splendid holiday." What kind of 2nd grader says 'splendid holiday'.

It sort of runs in the family (my mother, me, and now Violet). We like words, and are incredibly loquacious. I like to decorate with words. I love lowercase. My mother likes the letters to be all the same size in a word, especially a name. She likes words that have soft sounds, especially names. We all have auditory sensitivities. You are going to see more words here on my blog. I am studying for the GRE. And if I have to learn some new fangled words, then I am going to teach all of you. And then you can add them to your lexicon.

So here we go: Abeyance- n, suspension of an activity.
The broken elevator has been in abeyance for a week.

Feel free to comment with some obscure GRE words and definitions.
I expect no one will respond with a diatribe or discourse.

Easter Bunny outed!

2009-04-04T21:21:00.004-04:00

Violet has had an epiphany while shopping at Publix one day. She saw the aisle of colored eggs, tempting treats and chocolate rabbits. She stood perfectly still, then crossed her arms and glared at her father. "I know where the Easter candy comes from."

So Publix has outed me. And not that I am one for Easter bunny, tooth fairy and Santa but I so did feel caught when I heard her reaction.

Now it has been properly explained to my children that the Easter bunny, the leprechauns and the tooth fairy are services that the parents must pay for. Which means we purchase on-line goods to be delivered by genuine Easter Rabbits, Irish Leprechauns and floating tooth fairies. I can't help it if they shop at Publix!!!

Strawberry Door Jam(b)

2009-04-02T20:37:00.003-04:00

JP was alone with the kiddies and being that he was ill, his tolerance for nonsense was not at it's highest. Especially when he found two open containers of strawberry jam in the refrigerator. One, covered in the gooey strawberry sugar. Now little KT has this reputation of making PBJ and smearing jelly from here to East India. She was also the likely culprit for not being able to find the original jelly and opening up the second jar (something she is supposed to get permission for.) So when she got corrected for it, she was quick to entertain denial. KT can never say, "I don't remember doing that" she just flat out denies it. Which, for some reason, really irked JP.

So while I heard the banter downstairs, I didn't put much stock in it. Until I heard a loud bang and then someone crying. Apparently, KT had pushed JPs buttons to the point of combustion. He actually had a little tantrum and threw a full jar of jam onto the floor of the pantry (which splashed on the floor, the food, the door, and the jamb.) Now, while he didn't harm a hair on her head, I think he was actually scared that he would, which is why the jam got tossed (you should never have things in your hand when your children are pushing your buttons...it could be dangerous...you don't always know what those buttons will do! For me, it was nice to have someone else lose it so I can say, "See, I told you that child can be impossible!!!"

Out sick!

2009-04-01T19:21:00.000-04:00

My household is suffering from illness. But stay tuned for pics from discovery cove.

Off on an adventure!!

2009-03-26T17:30:00.003-04:00

http://www.discoverycove.com/DCO2/Plan/Packages.aspx

Some people actually go to tropical islands and scuba dive to observe nature. Here in Orlando we have a different way of doing things. We bring nature to us and then fence it in and add fake lakes, beaches, and rocks. Then we call it a habitat. Then we charge exhorbitant amounts of money to see it. And for those of us who don't fly to tropical islands, we pay it happily. Especially when celebrating the 10th wedding anniversary!!

I worked in an aquarium, and sometimes with dolphins, when I was a teenager. We have come a long way in how marine animals are treated. I won't go all tree hugger on you, but to say that I am not sure that any 'habitat' is really appropriate other than the open ocean. We study the dolphins in captivity and there is important information coming from those studies. But is the cost for the Dolphins too high. I can't answer that, except to say that I try to take this into consideration each time I purchase something like this.

Letters under the door.

2009-03-25T17:53:00.005-04:00

Lately I have been getting notes under my door from one of the offspring. I thought I'd share one with you.

Dear MOM,

My stomack hurts. I don't know why.

Maybe I am alergic to nite. Write back soon.

Love, Violet

PS. I am not kidding about this!!!

(no laughing, she is not kidding)
So the stomach remedy was to get them all up an hour early in the morning, Violet read for an hour and a half (30 minutes past her bedtime). And I didn't hear a peep out of her last night about her stomach, or that she couldn't sleep. I think the stomach ache was a case of too much energy.

Bunny People

2009-03-25T06:55:00.005-04:00

For those of you that know me, you probably know my bunny Penelope. And you know what a wonderful part of the familiy she truly is. Now, if I could, I'd have a whole houseful of the hopping toddlers. But I also have some offspring that I have to raise so I only have one bunny.
However, my friend and photographer at Angels Touch Photography got a new little hopper. And if you make an appointment with her you can meet Snowball (and the baby ducks too).
http://www.angelstouchphotography.blogspot.com/

Discovering the essence of human.

2009-03-18T09:24:00.007-04:00

The true art of making a mistake is the essence of being human. Rocks and minerals do not make mistakes, neither do plants, nor does your computer in spite of a long list of infractions, they are not true mistakes. Mistakes are made by humans. Even animals don't make them. Animals may make a bad choice, like to run in front of a car, but it can't really be called a mistake. And according to Dictionary.com, here's why.

mis⋅take [mi-steyk]
–noun 1. an error in action, calculation, opinion, or judgment caused by poor reasoning, carelessness, insufficient knowledge, etc.
2. a misunderstanding or misconception.

Poor reasoning is indicative that you have reasoning skills to start. Which you could argue that I can't even pick on half of New Port Richey, because I am not sure they actually have reasoning skills, which would make them exempt from making mistakes. You have to be a higher level life form to be able to reason and then to make an error based on your judgement.

So why do I bring this up you ask...because as parents we make many mistakes. Also as a human parents we have regret and guilt. We also promise ourselves we won't make the same mistake again, and then we do it and become angry with ourselves. But lets think of the alternative, if we were the perfect human parent, never making a mistake- we wouldn't be human. And smaller humans need to be loved by bigger humans...mistakes and all.

The Leprechauns were here!

2009-03-18T07:46:00.004-04:00

And they made such a mess of things!!
Every year at this time, these little green midgets show up and wreak havoc on my house. They get into the glitter, the paint, the toys. They leave trails of shamrocks everywhere they go.
This year they hid little gifts for the kids, sweets and plants. Apparently they ran out of shamrock plants because Violet ended up with a venus fly trap instead.
Well, apparently the leprechauns hid the glitter in a basket under some confetti because they were too lazy to put the glitter away (at 10:00 at night after a meeting). This is the same glitter that the kids woke up with on their cheeks, presumably from a leprechaun kiss. Well when Violet found the glitter container she immediatly started wagging her finger and said "one of you two people must have put the glitter on us", accusing JP and I. Of course we don't know what she is talking about.

Tattered wings

2009-03-15T11:14:00.005-04:00

Breakfast with Violet was abruptly interrupted with excited glee when she noticed a butterfly outside. Of course she had to try to catch it. This poor Lepidoptera is so tattered it's hard to recognize it, but we think it's a polyphemus moth, comment if you agree or not http://www.naturehaven.com/Butterflies/moths.html. Anyway, even though it's nearing the end of it's life span, Violet was immediately captivated by it. She was concerned that it couldn't fly and would be hurt or killed. So it was netted, scooped up and put into small carrying cage and brought inside for inspection. We both held it. This lepidoptera has a fat little body and 6 fuzzy little legs, and weighs as much as a pinkie mouse, we were unable to see it's proboscis so it most likely doesn't eat. Which probably means it's a moth. The little creature crawled on our hands and fervently tried to warm its wings for flight. This is where the wings shake as if it were having an epileptic seizure. It really tried with all it's might to be air born. Unfortunately it was not successful.

Because of it's frail condition I recommended putting her on a nice tree in the sunshine where she could live out her last few days. Violet was agreeable (thankfully) but she did not want to be reminded of it's lack of immortality.

I am not stopping and you can't make me.

2009-03-13T08:49:00.009-04:00

One of my favorite things to do is have breakfast with my comrades, where we enjoy camaraderie. There is no topic off limits (yesterday it was baby vomit through the nose) even while others around me were eating. It's New Port Richey, tact is optional and quite scarce- I wouldn't want to draw attention to myself by actually using any. Anyway it makes me feel like those girls from "Sex in the city" http://www.hbo.com/city/ minus the menu, cocktails, couture, makeup, highlighting and hair extensions. OK well basically minus the glamour. Maybe more like "Cheers" minus the alcohol and job. Now it cost approx 5$ by the time I get out of there, of course if I eat a bowl of soup (Wisconsin cheddar)1.79 and drink water and leave a tip I am only up to 2.79. I feel this is a reasonable expense on my budget once or twice (sometimes 3 times) per week. And even if it's not, I am not stopping and you can't make me. I mean this is like therapy only without paying a real therapist. Besides a therapist is not going to listen to your yap for 2 and a half hours about your kids, your spouse, your crazy ______( fill in the blank, neighbors, family, friends, social workers etc) and tell you what you should actually do. The therapist makes you figure out what you should do (which is how they keep you coming back) because we are such numb skulls it takes months to figure it out, but your friends, your comrades...they'll just tell you. And there is no paper trail either. So no one really knows how crazy we all are, unless of course they ask. Or they spend 2.5 minutes listening to us. So stop on by and put in your two cents.

India under the couch

2009-03-11T17:56:00.003-04:00

India is a lizard, a leopard gecko to be exact. We actually spell her name Yndia because she has "Y" on her head. She likes to get on our hands and crawl all over. She even gives a little kiss to determine who you are. Last night Yndia was out for her usual walk, up and down JP's arm, down his back, over his leg until she was GONE! YIKES, a loose gecko in a 2000+ sq ft house with a cat. Now the feline has been very kind to the gecko, but we don't leave her unattended for 12 hours with prey during hunting time. It's just not safe. Panic was starting to set in when she wasn't under the couch cushions, or under the couch, or on JP's back. She had only been missing for about 20 seconds, and she is a very slow gecko. She couldn't get that far, could she?
As I looked beneath the couch I noticed the lining was sagging. I gently lifted it up and it felt like there were things in there. I couldn't tell what. JP ripped the lining off, we could see her but we couldn't get her. So then he tipped the whole couch upside down and dumped it. My family room floor filled with magazines dating back from 2000, baby keys, coupon books, and aveeno diaper ointment. Low and behold I could see Yndia. I reached in and grabbed her, she squawked. She doesn't even have vocal cords. I cuddled her up close to my neck, she stuck her head under my shirt and refused to be disentangled from me. She clung tightly and continued to squawk whenever I tried to get her off me. The poor gecko was traumatized. Wonder if she'll ask to come out tonight.

Cinderella's Coach

2009-03-10T19:35:00.002-04:00

It's standardized test week in FL, also known as FCAT week. We Floridians have a few choice words for it that I will not share here due to the inappropriate content. Let's just say it's a stressful time for our munchkins especially the 3rd and 4th graders. To help alleviate some stress anxiety I decided to share a little bit of guided imagery with the girls. So I have KT, Violet and my neighbors child in the car. I am telling them if they get stressed to picture themselves in Cinderella's coach, "it's completely quiet inside, you are all by yourself, you can see the children in the distance but you can't hear them. What do you have with you, pencils? chocolate? What does it look like inside?" here's where they tell me about the benches and satin cushions and the extra lighting and some animal crackers and a pack of gum. So I think everyone is relaxed and ready to use Cinderellas coach when they get to their test, but Violet pipes in with "I can't concentrate with the horses hooves clanking". Uggg Violet would you park your coach??? talk about too much imagination!!!

The White Elephant

2009-03-05T20:21:00.002-05:00

A white elephant is a valuable possession which its owner cannot dispose of and whose cost (particularly cost of upkeep) exceeds its usefulness.- wikipedia

My rental house used to be so cute, like a cozy cottage in the woods. Hardwood floors, wood fire place, backed up to a conservation area stocked with raccoons, wood peckers and armadillo.

This cute little cottage, where I would sit on my back patio and watch the leaves grow, do art projects with my preschooler, and watch the cardinal family has now turned into a white elephant.

For one, we owe more than we could sell it for in this market.

For two, I can't make much money on the rent because the mortgage is so high.

For three, my brain damaged renters caused lots of damage- around 1000.00
plus the upkeep that they said they would do they didn't. 6 months after they moved in I discovered that never owned a vacuum. Yep, that's right can you guess what my berber carpets look like? They weren't perfect before but now they are really filthy. And now I have to paint. I hate to paint, but I can't afford to pay a company to do it just now because I don't have any rent money for March.

Happy Birthday to my HONEY!

2009-03-05T14:29:00.002-05:00

It's JP's B-day today. He will be thirty something again. I am writing him a note here because lately we don't see too much of each other. When we do it's more like 'rub my back so I can fall asleep' sort of conversation. You know how it is when we are so busy that you put down your morning cup of JOE and then you can't find it, forget to grab the cell phone off the charger and are not reachable all day, or go right past Publix when we needed to stop for milk and don't realize it until 7 am when the kiddies have just poured their rice crispies.
Well enough about the busy lives.
My honey is great little hubby. He likes my cooking and takes care of details like refilling soap dispensers. He grocery shops and gets all the best deals. So I just color myself lucky. Jealous? Too bad, I am keeping him.
JP is also a good daddy too. His little rug rats love him. They make up excuses each night to get out of bed just so they can steal an extra minute or two with him.
Happy Bday JP...I love you!!

Not Me Monday

2009-03-02T16:24:00.003-05:00

This is my first NOT ME post. And if you are clueless about what I am talking about, pop on over to MckMama's blog at http://www.mycharmingkids.blogspot.com/

I did not practially condone my childs forgery of my signature on oodles of school paperwork, no I would never do that!!
I did not go home and cry after I visited my former home and witnessed the condition left by the renter.
I did not traumatize our children by then bringing them to said house so they could see the mess that was left by our tentants, to teach a lesson. It wasn't my idea (it really wasn't).
I did not then rub said lesson in by then telling them how if they don't learn to pick up after themselves they will then live in a stye, like this.
I did not wish the renter any ill will after she practically ruined walls, doors and hard wood floor.
I did not drive 60 in a 35, I did not encourage my spouse to speed up because he was driving the speed limit.
I did not yell at my middle daughter and tell her to 'SHUT UP FOR PETES SAKE' because I would never use those words.
I did not torture my bunny rabbit by stuffing her into Easter Baskets so I could test whether or not she could get out.
I did not remove Cleopatra's sleeping spot on my desk and relocate her to the floor.
And finally I did not almost put toothpaste on my hooha thinking it was hemroid cream....well at least it's better than putting hemroid cream on my toothbrush and thinking that it was toothpaste.

Easter Bunny Auditions

2009-03-01T19:28:00.002-05:00

Hello Everyone,

This is Penelope. She is a lop rabbit. Not to be confused with a dwarf lop, as she is quite svelte.

Penelope or Bunnage as she is affectionately known, is a house rabbit. A house rabbit is much like a house cat, except when we leave the house or go to bed, she gets the kennel. House rabbit's are spoiled and entitled, they have what we bunnymama's call bunnitude.

This is Penelope's Easter Bunny Audition Picture. She is hoping to get a part in

Angels Touch Photography's Easter Photo Extravaganza. Stephanie over at Angels Touch is using Live Bunny's for her Easter shoot.

We are pretty sure that Bunnage is second place, just behind Lil Bunny Foo Foo.

So hop on over to http://www.angelstouchphotography.com/ and see what's going on for Easter.

Out of the mouths of babes.

2009-03-01T14:10:00.004-05:00

Do you ever have those moments when your kid says something and you just have to crack up?
KT was in the back seat of the car, being her overly annoying self. JP was driving. KT could not stop talking, asking questions or even lower her tone. I finally told her to 'keep your yap shut' and she told me 'Mom you keep your lap shut'. I thought JP was going to run off the road he was laughing so hard. This was followed by KT's endless probing 'what ?...what?... what is so funny?...." to which we just laughed more. So now I know why I have three kids, I just couldn't keep my lap shut.

Somebody submit this to readers digest for me.

What do little kids dream about?

2009-02-27T18:05:00.003-05:00

Violet announces this morning how she had 'the best dream ever!' And I thought to myself, what do second graders dream about? Winning the lottery? Candy Land coming to life? Living in a castle and being a princess? Kissing one of the Jonas brothers? (Good heavens I hope not.)
So I muster the courage to ask, and squeeze my eyes shut tight in anticipation of her answer.
Violet goes on to say:
I dreamed that KT and I found a baby bunny in the woods and it was so cute and we took it home with us. And I named it peach fuzz. And it was attracted to KT because she had a pepper in her hand.

Phew! So I guess she had turned on her thinker-upper and let it softly purr, it was thinking up friendly little things with smiles and fuzzy fur. (Dr. Seuss)

Well at least it wasn't bugs.

It's forgery!!

2009-02-26T16:12:00.003-05:00

And I should be mad. My 2nd grader has been forging my signature on her homework, agenda, and reading list, pretty much where ever I have to sign, for months now. And she got caught! Now I have to admit she is related to a forger, who is also the daughter of a forger. It's in our DNA. But she has started very young, I don't remember forging until at least 7th grade. Also, I NEVER got caught. Of course my mother would cover for me if I ever did get caught. It's not like she didn't know. I always told her.
Violet did this because she wanted to help. It's great for me, I don't have to worry about forgetting to sign. And I find initialling everything under the sun, tedious. I know it's just a way of communicating, but is there such as thing as too much communication? I mean really!! I have three kids, they each have between 1 and three places for me to sign each night. On a good day that is 6 things, on a bad day it's about 9.
So I got an email from her teacher today, and here it is:

Violet signed your name on her A-Z book again. Mrs. C had the same problem last week too. She spoke with her about it when it happened and we assumed that was enough to take care of it. Today, when checking A-Z books, I noticed your signature looked very different. At first she told me sometimes you sign like that, but after a little bit of probing, she admitted her mistake. She did have to flip her card because she had already been warned. I also talked to her about “good character” that I know she has been wanting and the fact that if adults forge a name it is against the law."

What is one to say about this? So here was my email:

Dear Ms. G

Sorry.
Violet is a decendant of a parental forger.
You are going to be disappointed when I tell you I really haven't admonished her when she has done it. She probably took it as permission from me.
So a consequence will either make her get better at it or decide it's not worth the risk.I tried to just sign a whole bunch of things in advance but she said that wasn't good either.
Good luck with her!

So when Violet got home we had a little chat and I told her about the email I received from her teacher and I told her what the email said that I sent back. And do you know what that child said???? She said she was going to get a pen and start practicing!!!!

Good lord,

I have created a monster.

Please forgive me.

Elle

Performing Hearts

2009-02-22T09:47:00.003-05:00

Thursday night was a presentation by the Pasco Pinellas Heart Gallery at Mahaffey theater to bring awareness to foster children. They did a fabulous job, it was a true community effort.
http://www.heartgallerykids.org/

Please take a look at their website. This group does an amazing job of raising awareness and bringing the community together. Without them I would not have two of my children today.

Once upon a time I had one child. I worked in a preschool as the Pre K teacher. Many of the children in my class came from less than ideal circumstances. We had children who had been abused, had disorders, had strippers for mommies, lived with domestic violence, were aggressive themselves, and lived in poverty. On my first day of work there was a birthday chart. It was colorful with little names printed with black magic marker on balloons and their date of birth listed below. The name of one little boy was Rafiq. However he did not come to school. Eventually we took the name down. Time went on, new children joined our group. Something told me one of these children was going to come home with me. I couldn't figure out who or how. The thought of one of these mommies dying was not something I could wrap my head around. I told my husband my thoughts. I think he suspected I was crazy. Elle pretending to be the psychic again. March 23 2004, a case manager from FCP showed up with two little kids, a 3yr old girl and a 4 year old boy, at 6 in the morning. Somewhere in their history they used to go to our school. Even though we had no records, we took them that day. They were Rafiq and Shamecca. I knew the names. Shamecca had been in the class with my daughter, she was handful. Rafiq was a toothless quiet boy, and I could not understand his speech. He played under the table that day. I let him. His grandmother showed up to pick him up. She explained that the children would not be back. She was putting them in a daycare near her. She also explained the the children's parents were on drugs and it was a big mess. I saw the parents later on that evening speaking to the director. They were heart broken and I wanted to be far away from them, it was such an uncomfortable situation. I did not see Rafiq or Shamecca again. I moved from that town to another county. I enrolled in Montessori Teacher Training in June 2006. I had to leave my family for a month to learn Montessori. I absolutely loved it. Two weeks after I got back from Montessori school I spoke to a friend on the phone. A friend I had urged to adopt. She had gone through the MAPP process and was waiting for a home study and a child. She wanted to show me the new heart gallery on line. We were both excited about seeing the faces of the foster children looking for homes. I had always wanted to be a foster mom. I had gone to an orientation two years before but was unable to convince my spouse. So here we were pointing and clicking and then Stephanie says to 'search all' and then I saw something very familiar. The names 'Rafiq and Shamecca'. I gasped and she got chills. I saw there faces, I listened to their voices. I called the heart gallery they gave me the number for FCP, I called FCP- the children were still available, I called my husband. Later that night we spoke. I couldn't leave those children in Foster Care. He didn't think we could afford it. We couldn't sleep. Then I found out about subsidy. We might just be able to afford it. I found out about orientation and MAPP class. I drove a one woman crusade to get these children. I had to leave my dream of being a Montessori teacher on another burner. This is the story of how these heart gallery put us together. Without them I would have never known these kids were parentless.

Miracles and Tragedies

2009-02-12T08:50:00.006-05:00

It's kind of odd how these two things, tragedies and miracles, are so closely related.

A tragedy is a series of events that occur, coincidentally, with a negative outcome.

A miracle is usually defined (except for birth) as an initiating negative event followed by a series of events that lead to a positive outcome. The latter is also thought to be entwined with divine intervention. Let us compare and contrast:

Flight 1549 into the Hudson was deemed a miracle by the press. The jet engine v.s. poultry was the initial negative event. The following coincidences were that this happened very close to the airport so that the plane was not that high, the soft Hudson river was below. The pilot was a trained glider pilot and often flew gliders during his off duty hours. He was also accompanied by an exemplary staff of flight attendants and let's not forget the co-pilot. My friend told me that this co-pilot started the 20 pages of the 'crashing manual' and only got through one page before they had to 'wing it'. Is that where the phrase comes from? Doesn't make me feel to secure in flight travel but I digress. This team managed to get everyone out of the plane and were then picked up by boats nearby. Everyone survived without a scratch.

Had the fowl not flown into the path of an oncoming air craft the fact that a glider pilot, exemplary air staff, Hudson river, helpful boaters would not have even been mentioned. So is this divine intervention?

OK so let's consider the tragedy. Which I really don't like to even think about but my mother feels it necessary to share many of them with me. A tragedy could be partly designed by someone, such as 911, or it could be a car accident. The coincidences for a car accident are that the two drivers leave there homes at the specific time so that the two cars are on exactly the same road at exactly the same time and meet at the exact moment necessary for them to cause a collision. Was there sinister intervention or just a series of coincidences?

Another example of how I am NOT Mother of the year.

2009-02-08T13:29:00.002-05:00

Lately hubby has been having to work long hours, so I am still doing the single mother thing a little more often than not. Which can make me a little crabby. Apparently my children have noticed the change and one of them wrote me a book on it. I am not kidding, she literally made a book with staples, and a dedication page. Below are some excerpts.

Violet's Book

2009-02-08T13:15:00.013-05:00

She goes on to say how she needs help dealing with these "imotions because I have know idear what anyone could do to help me"

The last page: "Dear mom I have some bad emotions that I need your help with"

Yours Truly,

Violet

And while I am offended that she called me on the carpet on my behavior. And while I feel guilty for being such a bad mom. I have to look at how expressive she is, how excellent her communication skills are and how in touch she is with her emotions. I figure I can't be all that bad.

Ok in case you are wondering we now have a diary that we write in, one for each kid where we safely express feelings and ideas on how to work on them.

Do you have any moral fiber???

2009-02-04T15:30:00.011-05:00

I again have found myself amongst the have and the have nots. That is, have or have not any resemblance of moral fiber. It's scarcer than you think. And I am not holding myself on a pedestal but I am amazed on a daily basis of the extreme lack conscience. So I thought I'd hold a little test and you can see for yourself which camp you fall into.

If you came across an item in someones yard that you have been looking for and it looks abandoned by the owners. And you decide to go up to the door to knock and ask them about it but they are not home. Do you a) take it b) come back later and ask for it c) drive right by because you would not consider going to someones door to ask them to give you something.
You are in a position of power and you have loads of on the job experience, you come into contact with clients who have more credentials than you do. Do you a) make up a degree or two so you will be taken seriously b) choose not to discuss education so no one will know c) Couldn't give a rat's petunia about what anyone thinks about your education, you have high self esteem and you know that education is just reading books and discussing the information, you have been doing that for years.
You ask a friend to do some work for you for free. Because this friend is nice he agrees to do it. It's almost rent time and you are a little short this month. Do you a) ask friend to give you a receipt of a monetary exchange that never took place so that you can submit it for reimbursement . b) hint around to your friend hoping they will get the idea and offer c) never consider doing this because it's incredibly dishonest, not to mention it puts your friend in a bad position.
Do you fudge a bit on your taxes? a) yes all the time, that money is mine anyway b) guestimate amounts because you are too lazy to look up actual numbers c) never...you couldn't stand having the IRS at your door, you'd be mortified.
If you were given an item that you knew was stolen. Would you a) take it and never think about it again b) at first refuse, but then figure they aren't going to care c) threaten to call the police if it's not returned
Do you go out to breakfast with your friends and a) expect them to buy you breakfast because they have more money than you do and after all you are their friend b) let them know you can go to breakfast but you don't have money c) keep mental notes because you never want your friend to feel taken advantage of.
You need a babysitter a lot and your friend is nice so you a) ask her to babysit for you all the time b) ask her to babysit but offer to pay her, hoping she will sit but not want to be paid c) ask her to sit and insist that she allow you to do something for her in return.
You fall down in a store because you were not looking where you were going you a) don't care because now you can sue the pants off the store and make a killing b) the manager is very concerned and rushes over to you, you hint that you could sue and the manager quickly writes you a check and off to the bank you go c) accept a hand up, are terribly embarrassed and very surprised when you find a check in the mail for your 'trouble'

Ok so now let's score this puppy! For every a) = 0 pts b) = 1 pt c) = 2 pts

0-7 You must be the parents or friends of Stephanie

8 -10 you are a little delayed in the moral area. You were probably dragged up by your hair, and you live in Pasco county.

11-13 you have moral fiber but you could improve it. You probablyhave visited FL. You were probably brought up and not dragged up.

14-16 You have very good values and morals. You must not be from Florida and if you are you are one of a very small group of Floridians with good morals...you must procreate immediately you are a dying breed.

Monday Morning Minivan Meetup

2009-02-02T06:26:00.000-05:00

Does anyone else drive their kids to school still wearing your PJs and slippers without a bra praying that you won't have an accident because you really don't want to stand on the side of the road in your flannel nightie in the freezing cold? You see my kids go to a charter school and the bus does not grace our neighborhood with its presence. Which means I have to haul my 2-pac (and a neighbor) every morning (for a total of 8 years) until they go to highschool. And if school started at a decent hour, like the public school which starts at 9:30, it wouldn't be an issue. But of course we have to be through car loop by 8:15 or our kids are tardy. Which means I am leaving my house at 7:50 a.m. and so I am getting up at the buttcrack of dawn and just litterally rolling out of bed, slappin' on my IV of caffeine so I can focus before the mad rush. Then the hounding and hurrying starts: "Get up, get dressed, eat breakfast, put that plate in the dishwasher, pack your lunch, no you can't have popsicle in your lunch, what do you mean you don't have any shirts why didn't you tell me last night, hurry up I am leaving in 5 minutes, brush your teeth, do you have your water bottle? where's your homework, no you should have asked me to sign your planner last night" And out the door we go, and while they argue about who sits where I put the heat on, scrape and defrost the windows and off I go....with my slippers on and my nightie to the Minivan meetup.

People are Idiots !!

2009-02-01T18:53:00.005-05:00

JP has been saying this for years. Nevertheless I have been in total denial. Imagine my surprise when JP read aloud the title of Larry Winget's newest book. I told my spouse I would buy it for him, just so he could loan it out to some of those idiots he encounters. And because the title is just so catchy, I had to google Mr. Winget to find out if he wrote any other books (and to prove to my spouse that Winget could not possibly be from Florida). Thus we have a list of some other books titled with catchy phrases.
People Are Idiots and I Can Prove It!: The 10 Ways You Are Sabotaging Yourself and How You Can Overcome Them by Larry Winget (Hardcover - Dec 30, 2008)

You're Broke Because You Want to Be: How to Stop Getting By and Start Getting Ahead by Larry Winget (Hardcover - Dec 27, 2007)
Shut Up, Stop Whining, and Get a Life: A Kick-Butt Approach to a Better Life by Larry Winget,

It's Called Work for a Reason!: Your Success Is Your Own Damn Fault by Larry Winget
I also have a friend that encounters these idiots on an hourly basis practically, you know who you are, and she needs to forward my blog to some of those idiots. So if you are a friend of a friend and you just got this emailed to you, you had better order one and read it fast!

Your learning style.

2009-01-29T20:32:00.006-05:00

I don't know how I get roped into these things but apparently I slipped and wound up on the SAC committee. Short for School Advisory Council, and how that translates to me is I tell everyone at the school what they are doing wrong. It's perfect when you think about it. I give them my opinion and they have to sit there and take it. Well anyway at my SAC meeting last night the topic was learning styles and multiple intelligence. If you don't know if you are a visual, auditory or kinesthetic learner you should try this test http://howtolearn.com/ it's in the top left corner of the page. So I was about 38% auditory learner. So at about 38% of the way through the lecture I had to leave. I just can stand only so much listening. I am just much better at talking then I am at listening....just ask my little monsters.

The other part of the lecture was on multiple intelligence. Such things whether your strengths are in movement, mathematics, language, nature, and interpersonal. So do you think I am language oriented? (well no duh!) of course I am but I was actually highest in was nature and interpersonal...hmmm wonder how accurate this is. So take the test and find out where you are on the multiple intelligence scale http://literacyworks.org/mi/assessment/findyourstrengths.html and comment on whether or not you think it's accurate.

My entertaining children.

2009-01-29T07:22:00.006-05:00

You forget how entertaining the little monsters are until people come to your house who don't actually have any living in their home. And even then, I am not sure if it's me jumping through hoops to manage the small people and their pandemonium or if it's the kids themselves that provide amusement. My home is always in a constant state of bedlam. The children are always all talking at the same time, competing for the remaining oxygen that is left in the room. No wonder I feel dizzy and light headed when they are here. Someone, usually KT, spills something always. Jay gets so busy holding the guest hostage with his verboseness (can't imagine who he gets that from)that we have to remind him to eat. Violet has to amp up her behavior because she can't begin to compete with their antics. It's a mad rush to get them through: pick up your stuff, dinner, yes you have to finish your salad, dessert-wait for everyone to sit down, finish your drink, clean up the table, showers, no that wasn't long enough go back in, jammies, get that towel off the floor, teeth brush, book read, and don't come down the stairs again, lights out, PHEW!

Ewww too close to the big 4 0

2009-01-28T07:05:00.004-05:00

It gets closer every year, and today I have narrowly escaped the big 4 0 but I feel that it's closing in on me... I am not really sure what I am afraid of. I mean I am not 20, I can tell this by the underwire around my bra (crude form of anti gravity). And it's not that I am afraid of getting closer to death (because retirement comes first or at least it should). What I am afraid of I guess, is feeling old. I don't want to have pain where I didn't even know I had contents. I don't want to have daily discussions about my bowels. I don't want to walk like the hunch back of Notre Dame or have my meals mostly consist of small round pills. I do not want to have all of my visits with attractive men be by appointment, where I have to remove my clothing and they get to keep theirs on. I do not want to have my breast squeezed between two book ends once a year. I do not want a camera in my colon. I don't even want to think of any of this. It's clear that 40 is the stepping stone to 50, which is the stepping stone to 60 etc. etc. And I just want to stop it.

I even toyed with the idea of having another baby but then I decided that might make me feel old faster and I might get confused with a grandma. I don't want to look old either. I don't want gray hairs, wrinkles, sagging, dry skin, or reading glasses. I am fighting this all the way. Even if I have to get braces (on my teeth).

Adoption Day!!!

2009-01-27T07:18:00.004-05:00

Well the day is finally here. JP has been a legal orphan since 16. He has had the love and support of a family(2 parents, 2 sisters and 1 brother and nieces and nephews) but for a multitude of reasons they had not officially adopted him. So now as a 37 year old adult he is getting adopted. When you get a adopted you, of course, get a new birth certificate. The new certificate still has the original date of birth and place of birth no matter how impossible it was. For instance his mom would have had to give birth in December in Florida and turn around and 3 months later give birth in New York to another child. Isn't that fun? The date thing is really fun for people who don't know about the adoption. Inevitably someone will ask the ages of all of her children, and she would tell them, and the unsuspecting questioner will inevitably say..."oh, you have twins." and she will say "no they are 3 months apart." Then they look at you with these crazy confounded expressions. And JP has been known to say, "mom had a really long labor" which is followed by more confused looks and chuckles from the ones in the know.

The upside of a down economy.

2009-01-26T08:23:00.002-05:00

Businesses are closing and your 401K (if you had one) has tanked. What is there to be positive about? Well for one...there is a lot on sale!!! Yep there sure is, so if you managed your money well before this...things could go your way. If you are graduating from college and need a car, they are at rock bottom prices because people who can't make payments are practically giving them away...check out craigslist, your local adds and bank repos. Need a home...you can get one for practically a steal...there is one down the street from me for less than half price (it sold for 370 new and it's now down to 159!!!). Oh you are unemployed? Sad but guess what you have what no one else does. Time. You have time to take that vacation you haven't had time to take, and now you can take it for a third of the price. And you are wasting your time looking for a job because there aren't any in your field. So reinvent yourself...what talent do you have, what degree have you always wanted to get? Now is the time to do it. So you have credit card debt, a second home that you couldn't sell, or an equity loan? Banks are terrified they won't get money from you and you will go into foreclosure or bankruptcy...this is the best time to renegotiate your interest rate and loan payment...just mention some coercive problems you have and you might get a whole new attitude from your bank. Ok so you are 40 and you haven't invested anything....well guess what..everything at the DOW is on sale. That's right, you can buy more shares for less money, what that means is when it comes back up (and it will) you will have made up for some of those years you forgot to invest. Ok so maybe you are not rolling in extra dough, and on top of that you are getting ready to retire, that RV or Boat you always wanted, well now is the time to get it (used of course).

more of the zoo

2009-01-24T10:09:00.004-05:00

Halloween!! Yep that's her name. She is a Chilean Rose Hair Tarantula. Of course she belongs to Violet, who came home with her from a Reptile Convention. Now do you see why I call it an exotic zoo. Halloween molted recently. If you have never seen a Tarantula molt, you should go to youtube and watch one. It's very interesting. First they make this nest of web, then they lay on their backs for hours, so still you think they are dying. Then their body begins to convulse...like they are in labor until they become unattached to their outside and are pulsated from it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zXhdr0TpOwY

Now Halloween is an interesting pet, and she has had a complete personality change since she molted. When we first got her, she was easily confused with a pet rock. Now she is very defensive and a little scary. We don't pet her anymore...or I should say I don't. But she is a facinating creature to watch, especially when she attacks my pencil.

The exotic Petting Zoo

2009-01-23T19:25:00.011-05:00

Besides my interesting and annoying children I am also slave to some furry children. Top of the list is Cleopatra. Her heinous spends much of her day sunning herself in the different windows, when she is not in need of her massages. Which is every hour for at least fifteen minutes. Cleopatra's throne is apparently right here on my desk in the middle of all my paperwork. Cleopatra also provides security for the house. It's an interesting job for a royal. She is very vigilant about not having any 4 legged creatures in her yard, especially of the feline or canine type.

Cleopatra Photo courtesy of
http://www.angelstouchphotography.com/

Politics Shmolitics

2009-01-22T10:31:00.004-05:00

Everyone and their flippin' Uncle has a blog about Obama. My children, I think, have all been brainwashed at school, they are soooo excited about him. I don't know what I think about that but if it gets them excited about government then I guess it's okay. And I do not wish Obama ill will. I truly don't know why anyone would want the job of president, especially right now with this big FREAKIN' mess we are in. And I can't really say I have an opionion because I feel too uneducated to have one. There are so many issues and so many ways to look at this subject that you could have earned a doctorate by the time you understood it all. So instead of an opinion (which I admit is highly unusual because I have an opinion about EVERYTHING and am only too willing to share it even with people who don't ask, don't care, would rather eat dirt then hear it, just ask anyone who knows me) I am offering a little quiz to see where you stand on the issues. So go here http://www.speakout.com/VoteMatch/Senate2006.asp#sec0
and find out what the issues are (if you click on them they will give you a more in depth description of the what the issue is) and then vote and it will tell you with who you are more aligned (make sure you pick your state) and then it will also show you which polictical party is closest to your views. I found the latter very interesting. They have a cute little diagram and I almost understand it.

Sex and Money

2009-01-21T18:38:00.005-05:00

People drive me nuts with their lack of financial knowledge. What is it about people thinking

that because they want something they are entitled or deserve to have it. This drives me crazy. Does anyone know what a budget is? Ok this is where you figure out how much you make minus how much you need to save equals what you can spend on your bills. If you use a credit card, make sure you pay it in full each month. If you have a large balance pay it off!!!

Next make sure you have at least 8 months emergency money saved up. That's the amount you spend each month times 8. This is incase you are injured, or fired or have an emergency. After that is all taken care of you need to start investing for retirement and college. It needs to be about 10 percent of your income starting at age 30. If you just started saving and you are 38 then you are 8 years behind. This means you can't have a latte at starbucks, you can't buy that cute little thing at Target for 1$. It means you only need to buy it if you absolutely need it. There is a difference between Needs and Wants. A need is something you can't live without...food, clothes and shelter (and the cheapest ones at that) in Florida you do need airconditioning. But you do not need to eat out...ever! And if you were having an emergency and you absolutely had to, you should buy from the 1$ menu and drink a cup of water. This means that you should be shopping for food for Walmart because you can't afford Sweet Bay, Publix and Kroger. And while you are there, check out the clothes on clearance. And if the shirts are not 2$ then you need to head on over to the Salvation Army. You need to have a budget and you need to stick to it. Now so far this has nothing to do with sex. But if you have a good solid financial foundation, you will have less stress in your marriage. Which can lead to sex. And I only put that word in here so you people who are bad with money would read this!!!

The Pacifier or "Passie' for short

2009-01-20T20:17:00.002-05:00

My youngest daughter, Violet, is 8. However when she was little, she was addicted to her 'passie'. At three I finally pried it out of her little mitts. When she asked where it was I told her the garbage man took it. She still hasn't forgiven him and has now taken to glaring at all garbage men. Aside from all that, whenever she sees paciefiers in the store she still wants one. I mean, come on, she's 8!! She can even tell you what sale price was at CVS 2 weeks ago. We, of course, refuse to buy one. Well today, while finding a place to move her fish tank to, I was moving some stuff around, and hidden in a little corner under some papers I found it. I found a used pacifier in my daughters room. I dangled it in front of her, "what's this?" I said in my best calm before the storm mommy voice. She had this sheepish, OH SH** look on her face. She wouldn't tell me where she got it. At that point I am horrified, is there some little baby screaming it's head off tonight because my daughter pilfered a passie? What kind of kid steals from a baby? I threatened her with all kinds of things, but she was not going to spill it. Finally after I worked her over long enough she finally gave it up. She said that her little friend had one and left it in the grass. Her friend is 5. And since she shouldn't have a passie either, I have a good mind to toss it and let them both be pacifierless.

Hundreds of homeless show up at my house!!

2009-01-18T13:03:00.007-05:00

That's right! Tent city is practically in my backyard. Right here in exclusive Waters Edge. This is supposed to be some kind of snobby upper class residential neighborhood. So what the heck is happening? I paid good money not to have the riff raff here. And now there are tents and blankets and pillows everywhere. Not to mention dirty, disheveled children wearing mismatched clothes.
How could their parents let them walk around like that.....oh my............ those are
my children. And they have built forts all over the my living room dining room area. Phew, I thought I had homeless people in my house. Gosh, glad that is over. But now I have a question, if middle class children build tents to play tent city what do the children who actually live in tent city play? Do they just play house or is more advanced like Yuppies, D.I.N.K.s, or McMansion ?

scattered thoughts

2009-01-17T14:34:00.004-05:00

I just don't wanna cook!!! And I really don't want to clean up after myself because I really make a BIG mess when I cook. What do you make your children for dinner when you don't feel like cooking? Well if you are me, you served, cold sliced ham, mozzarella, black olives, pickles and pretzel crackers. I dare anyone to tell me that is not a balanced meal!! You see JP has been working late every freakin' night and I have had to do the single parent thing. And the thing is, I don't want to...my kids are exhausting. Not bad mind you, just they can't seem to do anything without lots of verbal interraction. Sometimes it's easier without JP just because he is a big fat distraction for me. But the other side is that he is not there to distract the children so they stop pummeling me with questions and I don't have to verbalize all the necessary reminders.

Today it's cold (60 degrees). Brrr. it's like being in North Florida. Anyway the kids are all inside playing (they don't want to get frostbitten) and I look out at 2:00 and see this little armadillo eating by the pond. He's pretty cute just foraging around. I decide to call him Rooty because he is busy rooting around. I call JP over and he is very surprised to see the little fella outside at this time of day. He's right. They usually come out in the late afternoon to eat. So his guess is that Rooty didnt' come out yesterday it was so cold and so he was starving by 2 pm and had to take a chance that the big horned owl wouldn't scoop him up. I think he's pretty safe. She's a big owl, but I don't think she can carry him. Just checked, and he is still there and it's been about an hour. I'd like to go over an introduce myself...being a treehugger and all...but I think he'd run.

What can we learn from cults?

2009-01-15T08:33:00.007-05:00

So I am watching Dr. Phil and it's this episode on cults. How they manipulate hundreds of people into believing that they are the 'Messiah', that their word is the only one true word. And these 'Messiahs' have these people following them around like they are little lost lambs. The lambs will do anything the Nutjob says. Horrendous, illegal, and immoral things... and yet I can't get my children to clean the litter box. How does that work ?

Could it be that these deranged lunatics know something that we don't? Is the journey to clarity through insanity? It's entirely possible. And if no one else has coined that phrase, I am hereby coining it.

So let's chat about these cults, two things we know they do is isolate their followers and then brainwash them. Brainwashing I can handle. But how do they isolate them? Let's examine this, if I were to isolate my children then the only person they would have to torment (besides eachother) is me. So how exactly did this 'Messiah' get these people to be totally isolated with only him and have them not drive him into a murderous rampage before he was able to brainwash them? And if we could figure this out, and find the secret formula could we also apply this formula to the Iraqi people, possibly the even the Palestinians. I say we try it with the Palestinians first...the geography is plenty ripe for it. You have this little Gaza strip. Water on one side and Israel (their arch enemy on the other). Most Palestinians living there must be traumatized and suffering from PTSD with all that goes on there. Prime candidates for a little brainwashing. If it works could we then have peace in the Middle East? I also wish to add that I have no ill will towards the Palestinians, I just think right now their goal isn't peace. It's all about who's right....and I don't care who's right let's just grow up and stop fighting about it.

'My mother beats me' and other fun statements

2009-01-13T07:23:00.004-05:00

So while my urchins were away on their sleepover with Auntie H. Auntie H. noticed all the bruises on KT's legs. Now if you go back through my archives you can read the post on stairs so you will know what really happened. Anyway, so Auntie H. innocently inquires as to her contusions and KT's response is...with emotion and tears I might add 'my mommy beats me'.
And then she went into a long list of infractions supposedly committed by me. Ok one was true but I owned up to that one. The rest were exagerated beyond what you could conceivably believe to be the truth. This should not shock you or me, in fact and unfortunately, this is a common occurence among foster and former foster children. It's just catches you so off guard when it happens to you. Although the previous day, something similar had just happened to a friend of mine. I guess it was our wake up call. After awhile you start to think that they are just normal everyday kids, which really...they aren't. As parents of these children we need these wake up calls because it reminds us of how broken these kids are. How their need for attention, drama or the escape of family life is so high that at times they create these stories. What's even more sad, when they are saying them I think they actually believe them.
So this is how I handled this: Very calmly I said,
'So KT let's see these brusises you showed Auntie H.' With a smirk she rolls up her pant legs. Sure enough, there they were.
"And you got these bruises from me?"
Another smirk.."no".
Yeah, that's what I thought. "So KT do you want me to demonstrate the difference between a beating and swat, so you'll know next time? Because I am not sure you understand the difference."
KT's eyes became really wide "NO NO NO NO NO." Yah I was pretty sure that she did know the difference at that point.
"KT you need to make sure what you say is very accurate...because lying about this could have VERY serious consequences." End of discussion. Very calmly I walk away.
KT responds "What does accurate mean?"
If I could spell the gutteral noise that came from me after her response I would type it but I can't. I find the lack of vocabulary of my third grader incredibly frustrating. I know she knows what accurate means, and even if she didn't she could use the context of the question to figure it out. But remember, I just asked her a question and it was sort of threatening, so with child who has PTSD....her brain will just shut down. And on top of that, she had to say something to make the conversation continue because she is getting my full attention. Her life absolutely depends on her keeping me busy with her, she thinks. Now I would hand her a dictionary, but my past experience indicates that she will then ask me how to spell it. So I say "IT MEANS IF YOU LIE YOU WILL GET IN BIG FAT TROUBLE"...So much for staying calm.

Hilton Holiday

2009-01-12T07:37:00.005-05:00

WooHoo!! I just got back from a day (and night)
alone with my sweet hubby. Auntie Hannah took all three of the monsters for 24 hours (she looked a little tired when she brought them back). JP and I were off to the company formal party. I say formal because I wore pantyhose (among other things) and every SAHM in Florida knows that if you are putting on hose this is a serious formal event...especially when you add heels. Anyway, the food was great I think I gained 5 lbs during the weekend..I ate myself silly. We had a gorgeous view of Clearwater beach and watched the sunset from our room. It was so nice to have peace and quiet and not have to do laundry, feed anyone, or answer any questions!! God I hate questions!! On top of all that...it was practically free. JP is the little economist. The hotel and breakfast we got for free because we charge everything on AMEX and then get points. I so did not want to go home!!
But the little urchins have been pretty good since their return. I think they needed to get away too.

Football!!!

2009-01-10T09:07:00.003-05:00

My mom sent this to me today and maybe it's in the DNA but I am just going to confess right now I don't get it. Why is it that men are enthralled, to the point of yelling at the TV, at guys with big muscles running around in tight pants. OK well I can sorta see why women like it. But I don't get the straight men AT ALL. I mean they are just throwing a ball, catching it and running. It's not soap opera, it doesn't have a plot. And JP says it's because I don't understand the game, if I understood it I would like it. But I understand checkers and I don't like that either. I understand baseball and I don't like it. So enlightenment is not the way to enjoyment in this particular case. I will admit that I tolerate football much better when it's on mute. Something about the crowd in the background and the talking heads is traumatizing to my whole sensory system. And what is the point of that anyway?? You are watching the game, why do they have to talk about it too? When you are at a hockey game, no one talks you through it. In closing, I agree with Maxine, a superbowl is one that is self cleaning...and if it can dowse some oust. All the better!!

The Mom Song

2009-01-09T21:40:00.002-05:00

I was just talking about this.

Thanks Lori!!

the bugs....the drama

2009-01-08T20:52:00.003-05:00

So remember the leaf bug from the other day. Well I made Violet release her because I couldn't get her to eat anything in my terrarium (Oh yeah, Nini I put a terrarium in that big jar). Anyway so she let it go and about two days later she comes home crying. And she says, "you know that leaf bug you MADE me let go, well it's stuck to Madison's driveway and it's legs are all twisted around it's body and its' all your fault."

Lord the drama!! This is a girl who thinks nothing of feeding a grasshopper to her pet tarantula. But that leaf bug, now that bug was special. Is there some sort of racism in the world of entomology? I mean is there a hierarchy that I don't know about? I know that butterflies and ladybugs are popular kids, but leaf bugs?? Do they really deserve tears? One day she saw a moth that got caught in the sliding glass door jam and it was dead (bent in a L shape) and she cried. I mean it's not like they had a relationship or anything. It was never in my house, or in her bug jar, or in the terrarium.
But none of that matters. Note to self: Never use logic on an emotionally charged situation, it just makes them more argumentative...because they have to be right AND have the last word.

My best friend

2009-01-08T07:42:00.003-05:00

So yesterday I had breakfast with my friend Steph. And she made me (and my tagalongs) some bracelets. That's right made them. She has 4 kids and two of them are like 4 regular kids so it's really like six. Then there's that stalking husband of hers. I won't even go there. And she has a full time photography business. Not to mention a few volunteer things that I drag her off to and she goes to church. Oh and one more thing, she has lots of needy friends and family that are always having drama. So lets just say she is a VERY busy woman. But somehow she found the time to make me and my girls bracelets. So my question is how the heck does she have time for that? And how can I get some time for that ? Maybe if I wasn't sitting here surfing the internet looking for sexual predators in the neighborhood accross the street. Or maybe if I wasn't blogging, or talking on the phone or playing with the rabbit. I digress, so anyway the bracelets are really pretty. My bracelet has little dragons flies. How did she know I liked dragon flies?
Anyway, so these little bracelets screw closed. So I thought of this great team project for my girls: have them help eachother put on the bracelets. Well Violet said, 'no way', she wasn't helping, and she (being her little independent self) didn't want any help either. KT whined that she couldn't get it on and then Violet, giving up on putting it around her own wrist, tried to put it around her own ankle. Well guess what happened? It wouldn't fit, duh it's a bracelet it's for a wrist.. so it broke. Yup within 2.4 minutes of getting the bracelet the little screw part fell off. Sorry Steph (don't worry, I have all the pieces). KT on the other hand put hers in her jewelry box...where it still sits. How's that for team work!!! I haven't even told Steph yet. Hopefully she can read it in my blog.

Stephanie is what you call a good friend. She's one of the only reasons I have sanity, if in fact I actually have any. For example, yesterday I was being tormented by my tiny terrorist with school work and I was actually about to throttle the little bugger. So I called Steph (5:15 pm) in the middle of her dinner prep and family time, probably. I didn't even ask, I didn't even care. I didn't even say "hello, how are you, are you busy'...no I said 'I AM SO FRUSTRATED!!!!'. That's right, because at that moment it was all about me.

And she listened to me rant....while being interrupted twice by the my torturers..and I finally was able to talk my self silly, without hyperventilating I might add, until I came up with a game plan.
So now I have a strategy, excuse me while I go implement it. I hope there won't be an blood.

Housekeeping issues in 2009

2009-01-06T06:31:00.005-05:00

Today is the first day back to school for the tiny terrorists. This means I can go wild. Hmmm, I have no idea what to do. I have been captive for so long, as evidenced by my playlist. I am so out of touch...that's right, I have no idea who sings what or even who the artists are anymore. Unless they are on the Radio Disney they don't even make my radar. It's all part of the torture you see. My mother brought this to my attention when she said that she doesn't like Janet Jackson. So I searched for some new music and I found out I have no idea how to search for music because that would require I actually have something to search with...like a name. So I may, just for kicks, actually watch MTV or VH1 while the terrorists are learning new things to torture me with (ie schoolwork). However I don't even know what channel MTV or VH1 are on so my new year resolution is to find some new artists to listen to. Please help me with any up to date recommendations. I like Pop, Top 40, R&B and ballads, things you can sing to.