returning to work

So I am slowly returning to the working world.  I work from home for about 20 hours each week.  It's summer, so guess who is home with me all day!  Yup you guessed it, the small terrorists (although one of them is growing- I know this because I was taken to a store and forced to purchase pants for her).  But in relation to the most adults they are still small. The problem is just the boundless energy with which to torture me...and of course I am a sitting   duck stuck behind a computer in this house where they take turns. Their incessant chatter, fighting, mess making, dirt tracking, question asking activities leave me in a tizzy.

Vacationing

The small terrorists have allowed me to transport them to CT to see their G-ma. They do however keep me under watchful eye- if I go near the door they immediatly question me about where I think I might be going. They are all on constant guard for small infracttions. They have determined that wearing me out keeps me to tired to escape so the game is to ask me dozens of questions and order me around. They eat small amounts at home but gorge themeselves at restaurants, where they force us to pay the bill.
Violet has been sucked into her books this trip and Jay brought his legos but that KT, she is constantly wanting entertainment. I'm going to try to suggest the beach to them, then when they get deep into the water I can escape. I may get free this time.

BTG

KT is flying off to grandma's tomorrow. She is a tad anxious.
But the truth is, we need a break from eachother and my mother needs a
slow introduction into my household. Grandmother will be staying with me during a
15 week internship I have to do. And all three kids at once for 15 weeks is a bit much even for the most masochistic.
So I figured if I sent her just KT for a few weeks she could get a good idea on how to manage her because she is the most exhausting child for me.
Now if you meet KT you will be immediatly enthralled with her 'big toothy grin' as my mother puts it- we'll just call it BTG.
Now the issue with KT is that she is addicted to attention, good or bad. So you scold her and you still see the BTG. We also know that when the BTG appears that the brain has shut down.
example
Me: "careful don't drop that !!"
KT: BTG...some inane response like 'I won't!!!"
she drops it
KT: "oops" BTG
and that little saga plays itself out all day long from 'don't touch that, to 'don't do that,'
'to stop doing that'. Just change the words, and the same situation.

A girl and her IPAD

Talk about Oprah Winfrey's favorite things...IPAD has got to be it. OK don't get me wrong IPAD has lots of things to work on. But the idea of it!!
There is an App (application for those of you who have not been blessed with an I something or other) for everything. And when I say blessed, I mean I got mine as a a gift from Grandpa L (and it wasn't an occasion either...bless that Grandpa L). So here's are some of the Apps that I have downloaded:
App for GRE
App for learning Spanish
App for Tarot card readings
App for reading pdf files and editing them
App for the latest research from the American Psychological Society (APA) I just love this one
(I know, I know I am geeking hard!)
App to turn your IPAD into a phone/texting device...however this one costs 10.00 a month and I usually only get Apps that are free so I don't have this, ok occasionally I will pay the .99.
So any way what I was thinking is that they need to create a App called 'Iparent.'
Now here's how it would work: You program in all the things that you constantly say to your children:
"don't touch your sister"
"close your mouth when you chew"
"no shoes in house"
"no running inside"
"watch what you are doing"
"put your stuff away"
etc etc Now you set your IPAD up in the kitchen and the little camera monitors what your little people do....and when they see running or something on the list, a loud alarm comes followed by a recording that says "No running inside!!".
Now just like that famous study Dr. Watson did with little Albert and the rat, the children would condition themselves not to set off 'the alarm'. Yes, yes I know the whole experiment was highly controversial. But I am thinking that Apple could make millions on this before some controversy made them take it off the market. Somebody get me Apple's developers on the phone....

Nail biting saga

Occasionlly my neighbors tell me interesting stories about my children. The latest is a conversation Mrs. M had with Violet. To paraphrase (and use my poetic license- which I paid .25 cents for at Sears) A discussion about the grossness of nailbiting commenced. Violet's friend Mary Patricia recently broke her habit of nail biting after a visit to the pediatrician. Now Mrs. M's discussions over the years about germs from boys who potty and don't wash their hands was not enough to disuade Mary Patricia from her highly coveted nail tips. However when the pediatrician told Mary Patricia about a true case where a child ingested nails and then perforated her own stomach and had to have surgery and now has a huge ugly scar from it, she ceased all nail biting behavior (even the toe nails). This story was then relayed to Violet, whose response was: " I don't swallow them."
Well now that we cleared that up....do I want to know where she puts the highly covedted nail bitten tips?

Finch Encounter

If you know me at all, you know that small creatures end up in my house all the time. From baby ducks, cardinals, wrens, turtles, tortoises, to purchased creatures such as geckos, hamster, and a tarantula. Well somehow I ended up with a zebra finch. This bird was not hand raised so it's almost as wild as the cardinals outside. He (McFinley) has been living in my bathroom for the past few months (about 3). Now when I say living in my bathroom, I don't mean in a cage. He has a cage of course, but he fails to use it. He prefers flying around my bathroom, flirting with himself in the mirror, making nests on top of my shower wall, and sitting on his perch in front of the bathroom window so he can watch the wild birds. Luckily I have found effective ways to deal with birdie droppings, not that there is that much. JP says that mcfinley's droppings are smaller than his buggers ( I know you just had a visual-boys are so gross). Anyway the most amazing thing happened today. McFinley landed in my lap so he could eat some good seeds (hunger is an amazing motivator to get over fear). He must have sat there for 5 minutes eating. Then later when he was on his perch I lifted up his food dish and he landed on my HAND and ate two seeds. Taming the untame is a very exciting thing. This did take an amazing amount of time. I think I sat in the bathroom for 2 hours waiting for it to happen. It was worth every minute!!!

Why I have more than one child

So here's a conversation I had with Violet the other day.
Back story:
KT was at a friends house, and she and Violet had been not getting along anyway.
But apparently arguing with your sibling is a pasttime at Casa de 'R' and when there isn't anyone to argue with, boss around and boss back meloncholy sets in.

Violet: I'm Bored, I wish KT was here to play with.
Me: It's not KT's job to entertain you.
Violet: Yes it is, that's why we got her!!!
Me: ROFL!! (litterally)
Violet: Why are you lauging?
(puzzled look on her face)
Me: ROFLLLLLLL (and she still has no idea why I am laughing) more ROFL
Violet: What is so funny?
Me: (through tears of laughter) ...I couldn't explain it to you so you would understand how funny it is to me. (but I know my friends are going to bust a gut over this!!!!)