About Me

I am a captive caretaker of three small terrorists and an exotic petting zoo. I try regularly to sneak college courses so one day I can leave this place.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Off on an adventure!!


Some people actually go to tropical islands and scuba dive to observe nature. Here in Orlando we have a different way of doing things. We bring nature to us and then fence it in and add fake lakes, beaches, and rocks. Then we call it a habitat. Then we charge exhorbitant amounts of money to see it. And for those of us who don't fly to tropical islands, we pay it happily. Especially when celebrating the 10th wedding anniversary!!

I worked in an aquarium, and sometimes with dolphins, when I was a teenager. We have come a long way in how marine animals are treated. I won't go all tree hugger on you, but to say that I am not sure that any 'habitat' is really appropriate other than the open ocean. We study the dolphins in captivity and there is important information coming from those studies. But is the cost for the Dolphins too high. I can't answer that, except to say that I try to take this into consideration each time I purchase something like this.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Letters under the door.

Lately I have been getting notes under my door from one of the offspring. I thought I'd share one with you.

Dear MOM,

My stomack hurts. I don't know why.

Maybe I am alergic to nite. Write back soon.

Love, Violet

PS. I am not kidding about this!!!

(no laughing, she is not kidding)
So the stomach remedy was to get them all up an hour early in the morning, Violet read for an hour and a half (30 minutes past her bedtime). And I didn't hear a peep out of her last night about her stomach, or that she couldn't sleep. I think the stomach ache was a case of too much energy.

Bunny People

For those of you that know me, you probably know my bunny Penelope. And you know what a wonderful part of the familiy she truly is. Now, if I could, I'd have a whole houseful of the hopping toddlers. But I also have some offspring that I have to raise so I only have one bunny.
However, my friend and photographer at Angels Touch Photography got a new little hopper. And if you make an appointment with her you can meet Snowball (and the baby ducks too).

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Discovering the essence of human.

The true art of making a mistake is the essence of being human. Rocks and minerals do not make mistakes, neither do plants, nor does your computer in spite of a long list of infractions, they are not true mistakes. Mistakes are made by humans. Even animals don't make them. Animals may make a bad choice, like to run in front of a car, but it can't really be called a mistake. And according to Dictionary.com, here's why.

mis⋅take    [mi-steyk]
–noun 1. an error in action, calculation, opinion, or judgment caused by poor reasoning, carelessness, insufficient knowledge, etc.
2. a misunderstanding or misconception.

Poor reasoning is indicative that you have reasoning skills to start. Which you could argue that I can't even pick on half of New Port Richey, because I am not sure they actually have reasoning skills, which would make them exempt from making mistakes. You have to be a higher level life form to be able to reason and then to make an error based on your judgement.

So why do I bring this up you ask...because as parents we make many mistakes. Also as a human parents we have regret and guilt. We also promise ourselves we won't make the same mistake again, and then we do it and become angry with ourselves. But lets think of the alternative, if we were the perfect human parent, never making a mistake- we wouldn't be human. And smaller humans need to be loved by bigger humans...mistakes and all.

The Leprechauns were here!

And they made such a mess of things!!
Every year at this time, these little green midgets show up and wreak havoc on my house. They get into the glitter, the paint, the toys. They leave trails of shamrocks everywhere they go.
This year they hid little gifts for the kids, sweets and plants. Apparently they ran out of shamrock plants because Violet ended up with a venus fly trap instead.
Well, apparently the leprechauns hid the glitter in a basket under some confetti because they were too lazy to put the glitter away (at 10:00 at night after a meeting). This is the same glitter that the kids woke up with on their cheeks, presumably from a leprechaun kiss. Well when Violet found the glitter container she immediatly started wagging her finger and said "one of you two people must have put the glitter on us", accusing JP and I. Of course we don't know what she is talking about.

Sunday, March 15, 2009

Tattered wings

Breakfast with Violet was abruptly interrupted with excited glee when she noticed a butterfly outside. Of course she had to try to catch it. This poor Lepidoptera is so tattered it's hard to recognize it, but we think it's a polyphemus moth, comment if you agree or not http://www.naturehaven.com/Butterflies/moths.html. Anyway, even though it's nearing the end of it's life span, Violet was immediately captivated by it. She was concerned that it couldn't fly and would be hurt or killed. So it was netted, scooped up and put into small carrying cage and brought inside for inspection. We both held it. This lepidoptera has a fat little body and 6 fuzzy little legs, and weighs as much as a pinkie mouse, we were unable to see it's proboscis so it most likely doesn't eat. Which probably means it's a moth. The little creature crawled on our hands and fervently tried to warm its wings for flight. This is where the wings shake as if it were having an epileptic seizure. It really tried with all it's might to be air born. Unfortunately it was not successful.
Because of it's frail condition I recommended putting her on a nice tree in the sunshine where she could live out her last few days. Violet was agreeable (thankfully) but she did not want to be reminded of it's lack of immortality.

Friday, March 13, 2009

I am not stopping and you can't make me.

One of my favorite things to do is have breakfast with my comrades, where we enjoy camaraderie. There is no topic off limits (yesterday it was baby vomit through the nose) even while others around me were eating. It's New Port Richey, tact is optional and quite scarce- I wouldn't want to draw attention to myself by actually using any. Anyway it makes me feel like those girls from "Sex in the city" http://www.hbo.com/city/ minus the menu, cocktails, couture, makeup, highlighting and hair extensions. OK well basically minus the glamour. Maybe more like "Cheers" minus the alcohol and job. Now it cost approx 5$ by the time I get out of there, of course if I eat a bowl of soup (Wisconsin cheddar)1.79 and drink water and leave a tip I am only up to 2.79. I feel this is a reasonable expense on my budget once or twice (sometimes 3 times) per week. And even if it's not, I am not stopping and you can't make me. I mean this is like therapy only without paying a real therapist. Besides a therapist is not going to listen to your yap for 2 and a half hours about your kids, your spouse, your crazy ______( fill in the blank, neighbors, family, friends, social workers etc) and tell you what you should actually do. The therapist makes you figure out what you should do (which is how they keep you coming back) because we are such numb skulls it takes months to figure it out, but your friends, your comrades...they'll just tell you. And there is no paper trail either. So no one really knows how crazy we all are, unless of course they ask. Or they spend 2.5 minutes listening to us. So stop on by and put in your two cents.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

India under the couch

India is a lizard, a leopard gecko to be exact. We actually spell her name Yndia because she has "Y" on her head. She likes to get on our hands and crawl all over. She even gives a little kiss to determine who you are. Last night Yndia was out for her usual walk, up and down JP's arm, down his back, over his leg until she was GONE! YIKES, a loose gecko in a 2000+ sq ft house with a cat. Now the feline has been very kind to the gecko, but we don't leave her unattended for 12 hours with prey during hunting time. It's just not safe. Panic was starting to set in when she wasn't under the couch cushions, or under the couch, or on JP's back. She had only been missing for about 20 seconds, and she is a very slow gecko. She couldn't get that far, could she?
As I looked beneath the couch I noticed the lining was sagging. I gently lifted it up and it felt like there were things in there. I couldn't tell what. JP ripped the lining off, we could see her but we couldn't get her. So then he tipped the whole couch upside down and dumped it. My family room floor filled with magazines dating back from 2000, baby keys, coupon books, and aveeno diaper ointment. Low and behold I could see Yndia. I reached in and grabbed her, she squawked. She doesn't even have vocal cords. I cuddled her up close to my neck, she stuck her head under my shirt and refused to be disentangled from me. She clung tightly and continued to squawk whenever I tried to get her off me. The poor gecko was traumatized. Wonder if she'll ask to come out tonight.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Cinderella's Coach

It's standardized test week in FL, also known as FCAT week. We Floridians have a few choice words for it that I will not share here due to the inappropriate content. Let's just say it's a stressful time for our munchkins especially the 3rd and 4th graders. To help alleviate some stress anxiety I decided to share a little bit of guided imagery with the girls. So I have KT, Violet and my neighbors child in the car. I am telling them if they get stressed to picture themselves in Cinderella's coach, "it's completely quiet inside, you are all by yourself, you can see the children in the distance but you can't hear them. What do you have with you, pencils? chocolate? What does it look like inside?" here's where they tell me about the benches and satin cushions and the extra lighting and some animal crackers and a pack of gum. So I think everyone is relaxed and ready to use Cinderellas coach when they get to their test, but Violet pipes in with "I can't concentrate with the horses hooves clanking". Uggg Violet would you park your coach??? talk about too much imagination!!!

Thursday, March 5, 2009

The White Elephant

A white elephant is a valuable possession which its owner cannot dispose of and whose cost (particularly cost of upkeep) exceeds its usefulness.- wikipedia

My rental house used to be so cute, like a cozy cottage in the woods. Hardwood floors, wood fire place, backed up to a conservation area stocked with raccoons, wood peckers and armadillo.

This cute little cottage, where I would sit on my back patio and watch the leaves grow, do art projects with my preschooler, and watch the cardinal family has now turned into a white elephant.

For one, we owe more than we could sell it for in this market.

For two, I can't make much money on the rent because the mortgage is so high.

For three, my brain damaged renters caused lots of damage- around 1000.00
plus the upkeep that they said they would do they didn't. 6 months after they moved in I discovered that never owned a vacuum. Yep, that's right can you guess what my berber carpets look like? They weren't perfect before but now they are really filthy. And now I have to paint. I hate to paint, but I can't afford to pay a company to do it just now because I don't have any rent money for March.

Happy Birthday to my HONEY!

It's JP's B-day today. He will be thirty something again. I am writing him a note here because lately we don't see too much of each other. When we do it's more like 'rub my back so I can fall asleep' sort of conversation. You know how it is when we are so busy that you put down your morning cup of JOE and then you can't find it, forget to grab the cell phone off the charger and are not reachable all day, or go right past Publix when we needed to stop for milk and don't realize it until 7 am when the kiddies have just poured their rice crispies.
Well enough about the busy lives.
My honey is great little hubby. He likes my cooking and takes care of details like refilling soap dispensers. He grocery shops and gets all the best deals. So I just color myself lucky. Jealous? Too bad, I am keeping him.
JP is also a good daddy too. His little rug rats love him. They make up excuses each night to get out of bed just so they can steal an extra minute or two with him.
Happy Bday JP...I love you!!

Monday, March 2, 2009

Not Me Monday

This is my first NOT ME post. And if you are clueless about what I am talking about, pop on over to MckMama's blog at http://www.mycharmingkids.blogspot.com/

I did not practially condone my childs forgery of my signature on oodles of school paperwork, no I would never do that!!
I did not go home and cry after I visited my former home and witnessed the condition left by the renter.
I did not traumatize our children by then bringing them to said house so they could see the mess that was left by our tentants, to teach a lesson. It wasn't my idea (it really wasn't).
I did not then rub said lesson in by then telling them how if they don't learn to pick up after themselves they will then live in a stye, like this.
I did not wish the renter any ill will after she practically ruined walls, doors and hard wood floor.
I did not drive 60 in a 35, I did not encourage my spouse to speed up because he was driving the speed limit.
I did not yell at my middle daughter and tell her to 'SHUT UP FOR PETES SAKE' because I would never use those words.
I did not torture my bunny rabbit by stuffing her into Easter Baskets so I could test whether or not she could get out.
I did not remove Cleopatra's sleeping spot on my desk and relocate her to the floor.
And finally I did not almost put toothpaste on my hooha thinking it was hemroid cream....well at least it's better than putting hemroid cream on my toothbrush and thinking that it was toothpaste.

Sunday, March 1, 2009

Easter Bunny Auditions

Hello Everyone,
This is Penelope. She is a lop rabbit. Not to be confused with a dwarf lop, as she is quite svelte.
Penelope or Bunnage as she is affectionately known, is a house rabbit. A house rabbit is much like a house cat, except when we leave the house or go to bed, she gets the kennel. House rabbit's are spoiled and entitled, they have what we bunnymama's call bunnitude.
This is Penelope's Easter Bunny Audition Picture. She is hoping to get a part in
Angels Touch Photography's Easter Photo Extravaganza. Stephanie over at Angels Touch is using Live Bunny's for her Easter shoot.
We are pretty sure that Bunnage is second place, just behind Lil Bunny Foo Foo.
So hop on over to http://www.angelstouchphotography.com/ and see what's going on for Easter.

Out of the mouths of babes.

Do you ever have those moments when your kid says something and you just have to crack up?
KT was in the back seat of the car, being her overly annoying self. JP was driving. KT could not stop talking, asking questions or even lower her tone. I finally told her to 'keep your yap shut' and she told me 'Mom you keep your lap shut'. I thought JP was going to run off the road he was laughing so hard. This was followed by KT's endless probing 'what ?...what?... what is so funny?...." to which we just laughed more. So now I know why I have three kids, I just couldn't keep my lap shut.

Somebody submit this to readers digest for me.