About Me

I am a captive caretaker of three small terrorists and an exotic petting zoo. I try regularly to sneak college courses so one day I can leave this place.

Thursday, January 29, 2009

Your learning style.

I don't know how I get roped into these things but apparently I slipped and wound up on the SAC committee. Short for School Advisory Council, and how that translates to me is I tell everyone at the school what they are doing wrong. It's perfect when you think about it. I give them my opinion and they have to sit there and take it. Well anyway at my SAC meeting last night the topic was learning styles and multiple intelligence. If you don't know if you are a visual, auditory or kinesthetic learner you should try this test http://howtolearn.com/ it's in the top left corner of the page. So I was about 38% auditory learner. So at about 38% of the way through the lecture I had to leave. I just can stand only so much listening. I am just much better at talking then I am at listening....just ask my little monsters.

The other part of the lecture was on multiple intelligence. Such things whether your strengths are in movement, mathematics, language, nature, and interpersonal. So do you think I am language oriented? (well no duh!) of course I am but I was actually highest in was nature and interpersonal...hmmm wonder how accurate this is. So take the test and find out where you are on the multiple intelligence scale http://literacyworks.org/mi/assessment/findyourstrengths.html and comment on whether or not you think it's accurate.

My entertaining children.

You forget how entertaining the little monsters are until people come to your house who don't actually have any living in their home. And even then, I am not sure if it's me jumping through hoops to manage the small people and their pandemonium or if it's the kids themselves that provide amusement. My home is always in a constant state of bedlam. The children are always all talking at the same time, competing for the remaining oxygen that is left in the room. No wonder I feel dizzy and light headed when they are here. Someone, usually KT, spills something always. Jay gets so busy holding the guest hostage with his verboseness (can't imagine who he gets that from)that we have to remind him to eat. Violet has to amp up her behavior because she can't begin to compete with their antics. It's a mad rush to get them through: pick up your stuff, dinner, yes you have to finish your salad, dessert-wait for everyone to sit down, finish your drink, clean up the table, showers, no that wasn't long enough go back in, jammies, get that towel off the floor, teeth brush, book read, and don't come down the stairs again, lights out, PHEW!

Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Ewww too close to the big 4 0

It gets closer every year, and today I have narrowly escaped the big 4 0 but I feel that it's closing in on me... I am not really sure what I am afraid of. I mean I am not 20, I can tell this by the underwire around my bra (crude form of anti gravity). And it's not that I am afraid of getting closer to death (because retirement comes first or at least it should). What I am afraid of I guess, is feeling old. I don't want to have pain where I didn't even know I had contents. I don't want to have daily discussions about my bowels. I don't want to walk like the hunch back of Notre Dame or have my meals mostly consist of small round pills. I do not want to have all of my visits with attractive men be by appointment, where I have to remove my clothing and they get to keep theirs on. I do not want to have my breast squeezed between two book ends once a year. I do not want a camera in my colon. I don't even want to think of any of this. It's clear that 40 is the stepping stone to 50, which is the stepping stone to 60 etc. etc. And I just want to stop it.

I even toyed with the idea of having another baby but then I decided that might make me feel old faster and I might get confused with a grandma. I don't want to look old either. I don't want gray hairs, wrinkles, sagging, dry skin, or reading glasses. I am fighting this all the way. Even if I have to get braces (on my teeth).

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Adoption Day!!!

Well the day is finally here. JP has been a legal orphan since 16. He has had the love and support of a family(2 parents, 2 sisters and 1 brother and nieces and nephews) but for a multitude of reasons they had not officially adopted him. So now as a 37 year old adult he is getting adopted. When you get a adopted you, of course, get a new birth certificate. The new certificate still has the original date of birth and place of birth no matter how impossible it was. For instance his mom would have had to give birth in December in Florida and turn around and 3 months later give birth in New York to another child. Isn't that fun? The date thing is really fun for people who don't know about the adoption. Inevitably someone will ask the ages of all of her children, and she would tell them, and the unsuspecting questioner will inevitably say..."oh, you have twins." and she will say "no they are 3 months apart." Then they look at you with these crazy confounded expressions. And JP has been known to say, "mom had a really long labor" which is followed by more confused looks and chuckles from the ones in the know.

Monday, January 26, 2009

The upside of a down economy.

Businesses are closing and your 401K (if you had one) has tanked. What is there to be positive about? Well for one...there is a lot on sale!!! Yep there sure is, so if you managed your money well before this...things could go your way. If you are graduating from college and need a car, they are at rock bottom prices because people who can't make payments are practically giving them away...check out craigslist, your local adds and bank repos. Need a home...you can get one for practically a steal...there is one down the street from me for less than half price (it sold for 370 new and it's now down to 159!!!). Oh you are unemployed? Sad but guess what you have what no one else does. Time. You have time to take that vacation you haven't had time to take, and now you can take it for a third of the price. And you are wasting your time looking for a job because there aren't any in your field. So reinvent yourself...what talent do you have, what degree have you always wanted to get? Now is the time to do it. So you have credit card debt, a second home that you couldn't sell, or an equity loan? Banks are terrified they won't get money from you and you will go into foreclosure or bankruptcy...this is the best time to renegotiate your interest rate and loan payment...just mention some coercive problems you have and you might get a whole new attitude from your bank. Ok so you are 40 and you haven't invested anything....well guess what..everything at the DOW is on sale. That's right, you can buy more shares for less money, what that means is when it comes back up (and it will) you will have made up for some of those years you forgot to invest. Ok so maybe you are not rolling in extra dough, and on top of that you are getting ready to retire, that RV or Boat you always wanted, well now is the time to get it (used of course).

Saturday, January 24, 2009

more of the zoo

Halloween!! Yep that's her name. She is a Chilean Rose Hair Tarantula. Of course she belongs to Violet, who came home with her from a Reptile Convention. Now do you see why I call it an exotic zoo. Halloween molted recently. If you have never seen a Tarantula molt, you should go to youtube and watch one. It's very interesting. First they make this nest of web, then they lay on their backs for hours, so still you think they are dying. Then their body begins to convulse...like they are in labor until they become unattached to their outside and are pulsated from it.
Now Halloween is an interesting pet, and she has had a complete personality change since she molted. When we first got her, she was easily confused with a pet rock. Now she is very defensive and a little scary. We don't pet her anymore...or I should say I don't. But she is a facinating creature to watch, especially when she attacks my pencil.

Friday, January 23, 2009

The exotic Petting Zoo

Besides my interesting and annoying children I am also slave to some furry children. Top of the list is Cleopatra. Her heinous spends much of her day sunning herself in the different windows, when she is not in need of her massages. Which is every hour for at least fifteen minutes. Cleopatra's throne is apparently right here on my desk in the middle of all my paperwork. Cleopatra also provides security for the house. It's an interesting job for a royal. She is very vigilant about not having any 4 legged creatures in her yard, especially of the feline or canine type.
Cleopatra Photo courtesy of
More on the zoo later...

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Politics Shmolitics

Everyone and their flippin' Uncle has a blog about Obama. My children, I think, have all been brainwashed at school, they are soooo excited about him. I don't know what I think about that but if it gets them excited about government then I guess it's okay. And I do not wish Obama ill will. I truly don't know why anyone would want the job of president, especially right now with this big FREAKIN' mess we are in. And I can't really say I have an opionion because I feel too uneducated to have one. There are so many issues and so many ways to look at this subject that you could have earned a doctorate by the time you understood it all. So instead of an opinion (which I admit is highly unusual because I have an opinion about EVERYTHING and am only too willing to share it even with people who don't ask, don't care, would rather eat dirt then hear it, just ask anyone who knows me) I am offering a little quiz to see where you stand on the issues. So go here http://www.speakout.com/VoteMatch/Senate2006.asp#sec0
and find out what the issues are (if you click on them they will give you a more in depth description of the what the issue is) and then vote and it will tell you with who you are more aligned (make sure you pick your state) and then it will also show you which polictical party is closest to your views. I found the latter very interesting. They have a cute little diagram and I almost understand it.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

Sex and Money

People drive me nuts with their lack of financial knowledge. What is it about people thinking

that because they want something they are entitled or deserve to have it. This drives me crazy. Does anyone know what a budget is? Ok this is where you figure out how much you make minus how much you need to save equals what you can spend on your bills. If you use a credit card, make sure you pay it in full each month. If you have a large balance pay it off!!!

Next make sure you have at least 8 months emergency money saved up. That's the amount you spend each month times 8. This is incase you are injured, or fired or have an emergency. After that is all taken care of you need to start investing for retirement and college. It needs to be about 10 percent of your income starting at age 30. If you just started saving and you are 38 then you are 8 years behind. This means you can't have a latte at starbucks, you can't buy that cute little thing at Target for 1$. It means you only need to buy it if you absolutely need it. There is a difference between Needs and Wants. A need is something you can't live without...food, clothes and shelter (and the cheapest ones at that) in Florida you do need airconditioning. But you do not need to eat out...ever! And if you were having an emergency and you absolutely had to, you should buy from the 1$ menu and drink a cup of water. This means that you should be shopping for food for Walmart because you can't afford Sweet Bay, Publix and Kroger. And while you are there, check out the clothes on clearance. And if the shirts are not 2$ then you need to head on over to the Salvation Army. You need to have a budget and you need to stick to it. Now so far this has nothing to do with sex. But if you have a good solid financial foundation, you will have less stress in your marriage. Which can lead to sex. And I only put that word in here so you people who are bad with money would read this!!!

Tuesday, January 20, 2009

The Pacifier or "Passie' for short

My youngest daughter, Violet, is 8. However when she was little, she was addicted to her 'passie'. At three I finally pried it out of her little mitts. When she asked where it was I told her the garbage man took it. She still hasn't forgiven him and has now taken to glaring at all garbage men. Aside from all that, whenever she sees paciefiers in the store she still wants one. I mean, come on, she's 8!! She can even tell you what sale price was at CVS 2 weeks ago. We, of course, refuse to buy one. Well today, while finding a place to move her fish tank to, I was moving some stuff around, and hidden in a little corner under some papers I found it. I found a used pacifier in my daughters room. I dangled it in front of her, "what's this?" I said in my best calm before the storm mommy voice. She had this sheepish, OH SH** look on her face. She wouldn't tell me where she got it. At that point I am horrified, is there some little baby screaming it's head off tonight because my daughter pilfered a passie? What kind of kid steals from a baby? I threatened her with all kinds of things, but she was not going to spill it. Finally after I worked her over long enough she finally gave it up. She said that her little friend had one and left it in the grass. Her friend is 5. And since she shouldn't have a passie either, I have a good mind to toss it and let them both be pacifierless.

Sunday, January 18, 2009

Hundreds of homeless show up at my house!!

That's right! Tent city is practically in my backyard. Right here in exclusive Waters Edge. This is supposed to be some kind of snobby upper class residential neighborhood. So what the heck is happening? I paid good money not to have the riff raff here. And now there are tents and blankets and pillows everywhere. Not to mention dirty, disheveled children wearing mismatched clothes.
How could their parents let them walk around like that.....oh my............ those are
my children. And they have built forts all over the my living room dining room area. Phew, I thought I had homeless people in my house. Gosh, glad that is over. But now I have a question, if middle class children build tents to play tent city what do the children who actually live in tent city play? Do they just play house or is more advanced like Yuppies, D.I.N.K.s, or McMansion ?

Saturday, January 17, 2009

scattered thoughts

I just don't wanna cook!!! And I really don't want to clean up after myself because I really make a BIG mess when I cook. What do you make your children for dinner when you don't feel like cooking? Well if you are me, you served, cold sliced ham, mozzarella, black olives, pickles and pretzel crackers. I dare anyone to tell me that is not a balanced meal!! You see JP has been working late every freakin' night and I have had to do the single parent thing. And the thing is, I don't want to...my kids are exhausting. Not bad mind you, just they can't seem to do anything without lots of verbal interraction. Sometimes it's easier without JP just because he is a big fat distraction for me. But the other side is that he is not there to distract the children so they stop pummeling me with questions and I don't have to verbalize all the necessary reminders.

Today it's cold (60 degrees). Brrr. it's like being in North Florida. Anyway the kids are all inside playing (they don't want to get frostbitten) and I look out at 2:00 and see this little armadillo eating by the pond. He's pretty cute just foraging around. I decide to call him Rooty because he is busy rooting around. I call JP over and he is very surprised to see the little fella outside at this time of day. He's right. They usually come out in the late afternoon to eat. So his guess is that Rooty didnt' come out yesterday it was so cold and so he was starving by 2 pm and had to take a chance that the big horned owl wouldn't scoop him up. I think he's pretty safe. She's a big owl, but I don't think she can carry him. Just checked, and he is still there and it's been about an hour. I'd like to go over an introduce myself...being a treehugger and all...but I think he'd run.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

What can we learn from cults?

So I am watching Dr. Phil and it's this episode on cults. How they manipulate hundreds of people into believing that they are the 'Messiah', that their word is the only one true word. And these 'Messiahs' have these people following them around like they are little lost lambs. The lambs will do anything the Nutjob says. Horrendous, illegal, and immoral things... and yet I can't get my children to clean the litter box. How does that work ?

Could it be that these deranged lunatics know something that we don't? Is the journey to clarity through insanity? It's entirely possible. And if no one else has coined that phrase, I am hereby coining it.

So let's chat about these cults, two things we know they do is isolate their followers and then brainwash them. Brainwashing I can handle. But how do they isolate them? Let's examine this, if I were to isolate my children then the only person they would have to torment (besides eachother) is me. So how exactly did this 'Messiah' get these people to be totally isolated with only him and have them not drive him into a murderous rampage before he was able to brainwash them? And if we could figure this out, and find the secret formula could we also apply this formula to the Iraqi people, possibly the even the Palestinians. I say we try it with the Palestinians first...the geography is plenty ripe for it. You have this little Gaza strip. Water on one side and Israel (their arch enemy on the other). Most Palestinians living there must be traumatized and suffering from PTSD with all that goes on there. Prime candidates for a little brainwashing. If it works could we then have peace in the Middle East? I also wish to add that I have no ill will towards the Palestinians, I just think right now their goal isn't peace. It's all about who's right....and I don't care who's right let's just grow up and stop fighting about it.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

'My mother beats me' and other fun statements

So while my urchins were away on their sleepover with Auntie H. Auntie H. noticed all the bruises on KT's legs. Now if you go back through my archives you can read the post on stairs so you will know what really happened. Anyway, so Auntie H. innocently inquires as to her contusions and KT's response is...with emotion and tears I might add 'my mommy beats me'.
And then she went into a long list of infractions supposedly committed by me. Ok one was true but I owned up to that one. The rest were exagerated beyond what you could conceivably believe to be the truth. This should not shock you or me, in fact and unfortunately, this is a common occurence among foster and former foster children. It's just catches you so off guard when it happens to you. Although the previous day, something similar had just happened to a friend of mine. I guess it was our wake up call. After awhile you start to think that they are just normal everyday kids, which really...they aren't. As parents of these children we need these wake up calls because it reminds us of how broken these kids are. How their need for attention, drama or the escape of family life is so high that at times they create these stories. What's even more sad, when they are saying them I think they actually believe them.
So this is how I handled this: Very calmly I said,
'So KT let's see these brusises you showed Auntie H.' With a smirk she rolls up her pant legs. Sure enough, there they were.
"And you got these bruises from me?"
Another smirk.."no".
Yeah, that's what I thought. "So KT do you want me to demonstrate the difference between a beating and swat, so you'll know next time? Because I am not sure you understand the difference."
KT's eyes became really wide "NO NO NO NO NO." Yah I was pretty sure that she did know the difference at that point.
"KT you need to make sure what you say is very accurate...because lying about this could have VERY serious consequences." End of discussion. Very calmly I walk away.
KT responds "What does accurate mean?"
If I could spell the gutteral noise that came from me after her response I would type it but I can't. I find the lack of vocabulary of my third grader incredibly frustrating. I know she knows what accurate means, and even if she didn't she could use the context of the question to figure it out. But remember, I just asked her a question and it was sort of threatening, so with child who has PTSD....her brain will just shut down. And on top of that, she had to say something to make the conversation continue because she is getting my full attention. Her life absolutely depends on her keeping me busy with her, she thinks. Now I would hand her a dictionary, but my past experience indicates that she will then ask me how to spell it. So I say "IT MEANS IF YOU LIE YOU WILL GET IN BIG FAT TROUBLE"...So much for staying calm.

Monday, January 12, 2009

Hilton Holiday


WooHoo!! I just got back from a day (and night)
alone with my sweet hubby. Auntie Hannah took all three of the monsters for 24 hours (she looked a little tired when she brought them back). JP and I were off to the company formal party. I say formal because I wore pantyhose (among other things) and every SAHM in Florida knows that if you are putting on hose this is a serious formal event...especially when you add heels. Anyway, the food was great I think I gained 5 lbs during the weekend..I ate myself silly. We had a gorgeous view of Clearwater beach and watched the sunset from our room. It was so nice to have peace and quiet and not have to do laundry, feed anyone, or answer any questions!! God I hate questions!! On top of all that...it was practically free. JP is the little economist. The hotel and breakfast we got for free because we charge everything on AMEX and then get points. I so did not want to go home!!
But the little urchins have been pretty good since their return. I think they needed to get away too.

Saturday, January 10, 2009


My mom sent this to me today and maybe it's in the DNA but I am just going to confess right now I don't get it. Why is it that men are enthralled, to the point of yelling at the TV, at guys with big muscles running around in tight pants. OK well I can sorta see why women like it. But I don't get the straight men AT ALL. I mean they are just throwing a ball, catching it and running. It's not soap opera, it doesn't have a plot. And JP says it's because I don't understand the game, if I understood it I would like it. But I understand checkers and I don't like that either. I understand baseball and I don't like it. So enlightenment is not the way to enjoyment in this particular case. I will admit that I tolerate football much better when it's on mute. Something about the crowd in the background and the talking heads is traumatizing to my whole sensory system. And what is the point of that anyway?? You are watching the game, why do they have to talk about it too? When you are at a hockey game, no one talks you through it. In closing, I agree with Maxine, a superbowl is one that is self cleaning...and if it can dowse some oust. All the better!!

Friday, January 9, 2009

The Mom Song

I was just talking about this.

Thanks Lori!!

Thursday, January 8, 2009

the bugs....the drama

So remember the leaf bug from the other day. Well I made Violet release her because I couldn't get her to eat anything in my terrarium (Oh yeah, Nini I put a terrarium in that big jar). Anyway so she let it go and about two days later she comes home crying. And she says, "you know that leaf bug you MADE me let go, well it's stuck to Madison's driveway and it's legs are all twisted around it's body and its' all your fault."

Lord the drama!! This is a girl who thinks nothing of feeding a grasshopper to her pet tarantula. But that leaf bug, now that bug was special. Is there some sort of racism in the world of entomology? I mean is there a hierarchy that I don't know about? I know that butterflies and ladybugs are popular kids, but leaf bugs?? Do they really deserve tears? One day she saw a moth that got caught in the sliding glass door jam and it was dead (bent in a L shape) and she cried. I mean it's not like they had a relationship or anything. It was never in my house, or in her bug jar, or in the terrarium.
But none of that matters. Note to self: Never use logic on an emotionally charged situation, it just makes them more argumentative...because they have to be right AND have the last word.

My best friend

So yesterday I had breakfast with my friend Steph. And she made me (and my tagalongs) some bracelets. That's right made them. She has 4 kids and two of them are like 4 regular kids so it's really like six. Then there's that stalking husband of hers. I won't even go there. And she has a full time photography business. Not to mention a few volunteer things that I drag her off to and she goes to church. Oh and one more thing, she has lots of needy friends and family that are always having drama. So lets just say she is a VERY busy woman. But somehow she found the time to make me and my girls bracelets. So my question is how the heck does she have time for that? And how can I get some time for that ? Maybe if I wasn't sitting here surfing the internet looking for sexual predators in the neighborhood accross the street. Or maybe if I wasn't blogging, or talking on the phone or playing with the rabbit. I digress, so anyway the bracelets are really pretty. My bracelet has little dragons flies. How did she know I liked dragon flies?
Anyway, so these little bracelets screw closed. So I thought of this great team project for my girls: have them help eachother put on the bracelets. Well Violet said, 'no way', she wasn't helping, and she (being her little independent self) didn't want any help either. KT whined that she couldn't get it on and then Violet, giving up on putting it around her own wrist, tried to put it around her own ankle. Well guess what happened? It wouldn't fit, duh it's a bracelet it's for a wrist.. so it broke. Yup within 2.4 minutes of getting the bracelet the little screw part fell off. Sorry Steph (don't worry, I have all the pieces). KT on the other hand put hers in her jewelry box...where it still sits. How's that for team work!!! I haven't even told Steph yet. Hopefully she can read it in my blog.

Stephanie is what you call a good friend. She's one of the only reasons I have sanity, if in fact I actually have any. For example, yesterday I was being tormented by my tiny terrorist with school work and I was actually about to throttle the little bugger. So I called Steph (5:15 pm) in the middle of her dinner prep and family time, probably. I didn't even ask, I didn't even care. I didn't even say "hello, how are you, are you busy'...no I said 'I AM SO FRUSTRATED!!!!'. That's right, because at that moment it was all about me.

And she listened to me rant....while being interrupted twice by the my torturers..and I finally was able to talk my self silly, without hyperventilating I might add, until I came up with a game plan.
So now I have a strategy, excuse me while I go implement it. I hope there won't be an blood.

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Housekeeping issues in 2009

Today is the first day back to school for the tiny terrorists. This means I can go wild. Hmmm, I have no idea what to do. I have been captive for so long, as evidenced by my playlist. I am so out of touch...that's right, I have no idea who sings what or even who the artists are anymore. Unless they are on the Radio Disney they don't even make my radar. It's all part of the torture you see. My mother brought this to my attention when she said that she doesn't like Janet Jackson. So I searched for some new music and I found out I have no idea how to search for music because that would require I actually have something to search with...like a name. So I may, just for kicks, actually watch MTV or VH1 while the terrorists are learning new things to torture me with (ie schoolwork). However I don't even know what channel MTV or VH1 are on so my new year resolution is to find some new artists to listen to. Please help me with any up to date recommendations. I like Pop, Top 40, R&B and ballads, things you can sing to.

Monday, January 5, 2009

chauvinist and NOW in the same house.

That's right...I am married to a chauvinist. And he thinks it's funny!
We went for a family bike ride. That's right family...cha ching I racked up some mommy points that day.
Anyway I digress. We rode down to the lake and walked on the boardwalk...where we spotted trash in the lake. This always upsets Violet. She is a budding environmentalist, her first love was Jack Hanna. Anyway...so Jay is on the grass where the trash is and JP asks him to grab that bag that's there (so he could presumably could throw it in the correct receptacle). But Jay protests 'no way, it smells'. My then educated spouse can think of no other remark then to say 'girl!'. That's right he called him a 'girl' as an insult. So after my tirade which I directed unto my spouse (which he snickered through I might add) I said to him, 'girl, you watch what a girl does'. "Violet would you get that bag." She locates the bag and then holding the bag to my spouse, she spouts off 'See THIS is what WOMEN do who love animals" and off she goes to throw it in the trash.

Sunday, January 4, 2009

The Not so Easy Bake oven

Ever since that little Easy Bake Oven was introduced on TV commercials my spouse has been plotting to somehow become a sampler of the Easy Bake cuisine. So in 2000 when we found out we were having a baby girl my husband was overjoyed. Visions of his little girl serving him mini cakes and iced cookies danced in his head. I think he wanted to put one in her stocking when she was 2, I managed to hold him off until she was 8 (the recommended age). So here he sits in our bonus room surrouned by the small people making Easy Bake recipes. He looks not so enthralled with the process, and when I inquire as to why, I get the scoop. The small people are not lavishing him with their baked goods, they are instead injesting their masterpieces. My dear spouse seems dejected. All his hard work, all his plans....ruined in one fell swallow.

I shared the fact that you can use regular cake mix with the Easy Bake. He thought you had to figure out how long to cook it over a light bulb.hee hee. I told him that 'no' there are recipes all over the web for Easy Bake with regular cake mix or cookie mix and that then there would be more servings. He then might actually get to try one..he hugged me he was so happy, I saved his vision. LOL!!!

Saturday, January 3, 2009

Projects and more projects

Jay is busily working on a science project with JP. Something about quicksand. I am trying to stay far away from that. I only got a C on last years science project (Mentos and Coke) which I thought was really cool. Violet's back to her critter hunting self...the tree frog has been released however there is a leaf bug in it's place. Violet had me help her put together her aqua garden, and then just as we get the plants all planted she abandons me for some other small people that are more fun. Ungrateful wretch!
But I did put together the terrarium with her left over plants..I thought I'd let the leaf bug move in...or maybe the tarantula. Any recommendations?
Click link to see a leaf bug: http://images.search.yahoo.com/images/view?back=http%3A%2F%2Fsearch.yahoo.com%2Fsearch%3Fei%3DUTF-8%26p%3Dleaf%2Bbug%2Bimage&w=500&h=375&imgurl=static.flickr.com%2F3050%2F2503793086_1821e6abe3.jpg&size=113.7kB&name=2503793086_1821e6abe3.jpg&rcurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.flickr.com%2Fphotos%2Fjenny1288%2F2503793086%2F&rurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.flickr.com%2Fphotos%2Fjenny1288%2F2503793086%2F&p=leaf+bug&type=jpeg&no=1&tt=38%2C159&oid=b72988ca2d1cf9d2&fusr=Dreamer493&hurl=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.flickr.com%2Fphotos%2Fjenny1288%2F&tit=Mysterious+leaf+bug&sigr=11inndiof&sigi=11gf9e7qg&sigb=11ouscd66&sigh=1172qltn6

Friday, January 2, 2009

boys have cooties and other true statements

Well, we are doing cootie patrol. Happy Flippin' New Year!! That's right some little louse found it's way into Jay's head and probably got stuck in all that curly hair. So she decided to make her self at home and set up housekeeping (she must have been knocked up when she landed).

We went with the shaving head method...but then when we kept seeing the creepy crawlies I decided to treat with the shampoo too. I used this new organic, non toxic, tree hugging kind but then I found out it takes 4 hours. Flippin bleeding heart liberals, it probably doesn't even kill them, it probably just makes them sterile. I can hear PETA now, they're harmless....we don't need to kill them...they just need to be relocated.
Yeah relocated to Antartica.
My friend Stephanie stopped by, she has never seen lice before. I make her a goody bag with 1 large louse, some empty nits, some filled nits and even a nymph. Although the latter one was missing when she finally got here. Hmmm, my heads feeling a little itchy.

It's the fairies!!

Violet is having a small melt down this morning. The small people have to clean their room before they go outside. If they do not, then they get interupted mid-play to finish. I know it's very coercive...but it's just so effective. So Violet gets pulled in to finish her room and whines because she just wants to play...duhhhh. So I tell her, in my exasperated all most yelling voice ' if you keep your room clean then you can play'. And then she falls apart: 'Its not my fault, it's the fairies in my room!' So I am asking has their ever been an occurence of fairy flittering that has caused rooms to appear disorganized? And how do you convince a child who believes in Santa (despite my best intentions), the tooth fairy and leprechauns that there isn't any other small being messing up her room...it's her.

Picture of fairy girl herself and the black panther.

Thursday, January 1, 2009

Children of the 21st century

Today I was speaking with my children about my new handy dandy travel cup that I got for Xmas from JP. I was telling, the not so shrinking, Violet that my new mug does not go into the dishwasher, so if you see it in there take it out. KT then pipes in...'well than what do you do with it?' UGG, children of today have no concept of actually washing dishes by hand, I am thinking a 20th century lesson might be on my agenda tomorrow. And if they complain I will let them journey to the 19th century to do the laundry!!! Anyone have an old washboard they aren't using?

WKTV-The star of the show

WKTV is our KT channel. She provides hours of entertainment or torture depending on how you look at it. For example, the day after xmas our star of the show descends down the stairs in her: knee high, black suede boots, a hot pink jean, mini skirt that barely covers her A** and a strappy little red velvet top. I am not sure what show she thought she was starring on, but I was not having the remake of 'Pretty Baby' at my house. While her fashion sense is somewhat questionable, it's true she doesn't exactly buy her clothes. The boots were a holiday gift from Grandmother (at my suggestion) and they seemed quite innocuous at the time. The pink mini skirt was a hand-me-down from a friend and the red velvet top was something I bought for her to wear with jeans. Each item individually did not even register on my 'tramp dar' but when you see it put together by an 8 year old you start to wonder if it's in the DNA or the previous environment. Either way, I want to know what the heck can be done about it. I am having flash forwards of dramatic interactions about 'what you are not going to wear while you are living in this house, young lady'. Am I really headed for teen battles on couture? Because if I am, I am going to start arming myself right now...where was that brochure on the Catholic Boarding school...