I received a letter from my childrens bio mom, via my relative/attorney. It's not that unusual. I had reached out to her when we first finalized the adoption, and gave her an address for correspondence. She was incarcerated at the time and posed little threat. I also wanted to provide hope, so that she would work hard at her rehab and not give up. I figure that when my daughter turns 18 first mom will become part of our lives.
She now lives in another state and is struggling to get her life together. She is aware of the trauma she caused and I believe genuinly sorry. She is very sorry that she ever got mixed up in drugs. She misses the children a lot, but she knows they are better off with me.
She would like to send birthday cards to the children, but she doesn't know if that will cause more trauma. I don't either. But I commend her for asking and taking that into consideration.
I actually feel lucky that she is operating at that level. I know many adoptive moms/ step moms who have to deal with horrid birth moms. I don't think we will do the birthday card, but I think I will allow a holiday card in December.